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12-Foot Inflatable Animated Spider

By: on September 17, 2013

I don't know if I should be more afraid that this 12-foot-tall inflatable spider will bite me or force me to listen to it sing Broadway showtunes. It looks like Elvira mixed with Ursula the sea witch mixed with one of the crap pumpkin faces I can carve with my drawing skills of a 4-year-old. Ooh, but it moves. And not just when a big gust of wind sweeps through to knock it over. The spider's head, all 30 inches of it, swivels 60 degrees back and forth, searing its LED-lit eyes into those of any child or mailman who dares make contact. Eyes also segue between colors "devilish red" and "supernatural green."

Twelve-foot inflatable spiders inflate to 12 feet with the assistance of an included 4W air blower, which fills the front yard installation to full height in fewer than 5 minutes. A set of 4 stakes and tethers keep the arthropod fixed to the ground. To keep the neighborhood children from stealing or popping him, I suggest appending a "venomous sac" in the form of a Burglar Blaster to the spider's belly. Happy Halloween, you little delinquents!

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Life-Size Exorcist Regan Doll

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The only thing worse than a Monday is clicking on a link that brings you to a life-size replica doll of possessed Regan from The Exorcist. It just happened to me, and since misery loves company, here you go, dudes. I'm...

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Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

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Melting Bloody Hand Candle

$35 from Etsy »

Now here's a bloody handy gift for Halloween. Bryan Lawrence makes these terrifically creepy candles, you guessed it, by hand, using flesh-colored wax for the outer layers of their fingers and palms, and blood-red on...

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Skull Ice Molds

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I've seen skull ice molds before, but never a set that makes a 3D dead man looking downright dapper in a top hat and monocle. His buddy the pirate has a certain charm too. And all 3 of the silicone molds show a remarkable...

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Cereal Killer Bowl

$24 from Amazon »

Decimate the Froot Loops, eradicate the Frosted Flakes, eliminate all traces of Trix with the Cereal Killer Bowl. Those Charms may be Lucky before the box is opened, but once once they hit your Dexter-approved bowl, it's...

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Fear Mongering: The 10 Scariest Halloween Masks

The fear factor of these scary Halloween masks lies somewhere between disturbing and spine-chilling. Between nightmares for the night and nightmares for the month. Between Ugh, what is that? and CAN. NOT. UN. SEE. I'm...

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Other People's Face Masks

$9.99 - $11.94 from Amazon »

Get all 4 of Faux Real's Face (of Someone Else) Masks to swap out throughout the night at this year's Halloween party and kill it as Arya Stark or Jaqen H'gar, or maybe just a generic Faceless Man....

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Arkham Harley Quinn Costume

Discontinued

Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...

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Waterphone - Horror Sound Effects Instrument

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Haunted Skull Cakelet Pan

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Skull "cakelets." Spooky, sinister, and...adorable. Bring on the devil's food, 'cause you're haunting me with your cuteness, little skulls....

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Ascending Evil Climbing Skeleton Wall Sculpture

$236.41 from Amazon »

The Ascending Evil Climbing Skeleton Wall Sculpture is just in case you were curious what it would look like to throw a skeleton up against the wall in a hot blaze of passion and take it from behind. The arched back...

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Armored Leather Wonder Woman Costume

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Why simply dress up as Wonder Woman when you can transform into Wonder Woman corseted and zipped into custom sewn leather form-molded over motorcycle grade body armor? This UD Replicas creation isn't just a costume, it's...