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12-Foot Inflatable Animated Spider

By: on September 17, 2013

I don't know if I should be more afraid that this 12-foot-tall inflatable spider will bite me or force me to listen to it sing Broadway showtunes. It looks like Elvira mixed with Ursula the sea witch mixed with one of the crap pumpkin faces I can carve with my drawing skills of a 4-year-old. Ooh, but it moves. And not just when a big gust of wind sweeps through to knock it over. The spider's head, all 30 inches of it, swivels 60 degrees back and forth, searing its LED-lit eyes into those of any child or mailman who dares make contact. Eyes also segue between colors "devilish red" and "supernatural green."

Twelve-foot inflatable spiders inflate to 12 feet with the assistance of an included 4W air blower, which fills the front yard installation to full height in fewer than 5 minutes. A set of 4 stakes and tethers keep the arthropod fixed to the ground. To keep the neighborhood children from stealing or popping him, I suggest appending a "venomous sac" in the form of a Burglar Blaster to the spider's belly. Happy Halloween, you little delinquents!

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Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

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Fear Mongering: The 10 Scariest Halloween Masks

The fear factor of these scary Halloween masks lies somewhere between disturbing and spine-chilling. Between nightmares for the night and nightmares for the month. Between Ugh, what is that? and CAN. NOT. UN. SEE. I'm...

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Arkham Harley Quinn Costume

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Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...

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Rogue From X-Men Costume

Discontinued

It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and...

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The Darth Knight

$1,500 from Ebay »

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

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Alien Mind Control Mask

$97.99 from The Horror Dome »

Oh what I would give to wear this Alien Mind Control mask to work. I'd just ride the lobby elevator up and down all day long, standing there ominously to greet, and soil the pants of, everyone who gets on. I'm almost...

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Animatronic Shark Costume

By: VFXLAB »

Seabob, an animatronic shark costume visual effects designers VFXLAB recently took for a test swim in the San Bernardino Doubletree Hotel pool, is many things. Funny, a good prank, and a way for my friend Cornelius to...

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Outer Space Vodka

$5.99 - $29.99 from Outer Space Vodka »

What's scarier than this freak parade of masks on Halloween night? The head-splitting, toilet-hugging hangover we're all going to have Sunday morning. Especially with 1) Daylight Saving Time ending at 2 a.m., giving everyone...

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Halloween Gear Guide

Oh boy, it's time to start shelling out your hard-earned cash for a hard-earned night of reckless abandon, mad debauchery, mass sugar and alcohol consumption, and sitting front and center at the Parade of Hot Slutty Girl...

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Edible Dehydrated Zebra Tarantula

$24.99 from Amazon »

What's that you're eating? Antelope jerky? Pssshh! Amateur. Real men, men with balls as big as their 3 p.m. snack cravings, eat dehydrated zebra tarantulas. Straight from the can....

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Prosthetic Dragon Spikes

$375 from Etsy »

Is there a word for when something is equal parts disturbing and smokin' hot? That's what I'd like to call the image of this lady wearing Dragon Spikes. Their mutant effect is remarkable, somewhere between mythical miracle...

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Wild Knight Dog Armor

$367 from Etsy »

Your canine ca-knight in shining armor has arrived! With one caveat: Lebovskiart, the Bulgarian designer of the shining armor, reports that his dog "does not like very much these strange clothes." But for him at least...