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12-Foot Inflatable Animated Spider

By: on September 17, 2013

I don't know if I should be more afraid that this 12-foot-tall inflatable spider will bite me or force me to listen to it sing Broadway showtunes. It looks like Elvira mixed with Ursula the sea witch mixed with one of the crap pumpkin faces I can carve with my drawing skills of a 4-year-old. Ooh, but it moves. And not just when a big gust of wind sweeps through to knock it over. The spider's head, all 30 inches of it, swivels 60 degrees back and forth, searing its LED-lit eyes into those of any child or mailman who dares make contact. Eyes also segue between colors "devilish red" and "supernatural green."

Twelve-foot inflatable spiders inflate to 12 feet with the assistance of an included 4W air blower, which fills the front yard installation to full height in fewer than 5 minutes. A set of 4 stakes and tethers keep the arthropod fixed to the ground. To keep the neighborhood children from stealing or popping him, I suggest appending a "venomous sac" in the form of a Burglar Blaster to the spider's belly. Happy Halloween, you little delinquents!

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Sexy TRON Outfit

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Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

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Fear Mongering: The 10 Scariest Halloween Masks

The fear factor of these scary Halloween masks lies somewhere between disturbing and spine-chilling. Between nightmares for the night and nightmares for the month. Between Ugh, what is that? and CAN. NOT. UN. SEE. I'm...

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Arkham Harley Quinn Costume

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Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...

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Other People's Face Masks

$9.99 - $11.94 from Amazon »

Get all 4 of Faux Real's Face (of Someone Else) Masks to swap out throughout the night at this year's Halloween party and kill it as Arya Stark or Jaqen H'gar, or maybe just a generic Faceless Man....

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Life-Size Exorcist Regan Doll

$3,995 from Etsy »

The only thing worse than a Monday is clicking on a link that brings you to a life-size replica doll of possessed Regan from The Exorcist. It just happened to me, and since misery loves company, here you go, dudes. I'm...

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Rogue From X-Men Costume

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It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and...

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The Darth Knight

$1,500 from Ebay »

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

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Waterphone - Horror Sound Effects Instrument

$299 from Amazon »

The waterphone. Those who hate scary movies might call it torture for the ears. Those who love them? Will call it their new favorite instrument....

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Philippe the Skeleton Lamp

Phillipe the Skeleton Lamp is not the first skeleton lamp I've met (see Glass Skull Tiki Torch, Day of the Dead Skull Lamp). But he's definitely the first skeleton lamp I've met named "Phillipe." Which leads me to believe...

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Armored Leather Wonder Woman Costume

$875 from UD Replicas »

Why simply dress up as Wonder Woman when you can transform into Wonder Woman corseted and zipped into custom sewn leather form-molded over motorcycle grade body armor? This UD Replicas creation isn't just a costume, it's...

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Alien Mind Control Mask

$109.99 from The Horror Dome »

Oh what I would give to wear this Alien Mind Control mask to work. I'd just ride the lobby elevator up and down all day long, standing there ominously to greet, and soil the pants of, everyone who gets on. I'm almost...

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Melting Bloody Hand Candle

$35 from Etsy »

Now here's a bloody handy gift for Halloween. Bryan Lawrence makes these terrifically creepy candles, you guessed it, by hand, using flesh-colored wax for the outer layers of their fingers and palms, and blood-red on...