463

The World's Most Powerful Laser

By: on August 15, 2011
$299.95
Check It Out

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to:

  • Sear through ornery plastic.
  • Pop bitch-ass balloons.
  • Burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode.
  • Function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation.
  • Emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters.
  • Turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight. The laser package also includes LaserShades safety goggles, a tactical nylon holster, rechargeable Sanyo 18650 battery and charger, and a safety guide.

Any of this otherworldliness sound mildly intriguing? If so, consider entering Dude's Wicked Lasers Giveaway, running through July 29, 2012. One lucky winner over the age of 18 drawn at random will win his or her very own S3 Arctic for all (safe and legal) pursuits requiring the companionship of a freakishly strong handheld laser. (Remember, safe and legal, dudes, safe and legal).

Check it out

Double Barrel Pistol

$4,400 - $4,950 from Arsenal Firearms »

The AF2011-A1 Double Barrel Pistol is a first on two counts. It's the first ever double barrel semiautomatic pistol manufactured for sale (not available yet, but on deck for Fall 2012). And, after getting a load of the...

Buy Now

Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit

$349 from Amazon »

Are you prepared to fight for the survival and integrity of family, friends, and the human race in apocalyptic combat with the ambulatory dead? In other words, do you want to buy a 7-piece set of gut-ripping knives and...

Check it out

Custom Made Lightsabers

$129.99 - $499 from Etsy »

Be advised: Although Phillip Isherwood's custom crafted lightsabers blaze LED spectral force fields of green, red, or blue and arrive with 36" long polycarbonate blades designed for full speed, full contact dueling, he...

Buy Now

Jagdkommando Knife

Sold Out from Amazon »

If you're looking to stab someone in the back, knife them in the heart, or just royally screw them over, Microtech's MCT1057 Jagdkommando fixed blade knife is the definitive way to do it. A version of the manufacturer's...

Buy Now

Wolverine Style Hand Claw Dagger

Sold Out from Amazon »

What the WTF Amazon? You're in the weapons trade now? These costume-y looking hand claws have real blades of razor-sharp, 8.75-inch, 440C stainless steel, which make them exponentially and disturbingly more portentous...

Buy Now

Fast Strike Self Defense Weapon

$22.95 from Amazon »

It's called Fast Strike and - whirwhack! - it's gonna sting. The non-lethal self defense weapon looks like the antenna on the cordless phone my family had growing up. Which, coincidentally, also kinda hurt when someone...

Buy Now

Pocket Artillery

$34 from Amazon »

This, unbelievably, is exactly what the name suggests, a mini desktop cannon that fires standard BBs. And, it's pretty damn cool. You really need to watch the video to see it in action. I'm certain this will be used for...

Check it out

Super Shorty Shotgun

$705 from Serbu Firearms »

The Super Shorty Shotgun is based on a Mossberg Maverick 12-gauge, and, at an additional cost, is also available in models Mossberg 500, Remington 870, and Lil' Kim. Factory-fabricated with a pistol grip, the Super Shorty...

Buy Now

Shomer-Tec Laser Surveillance Defeater

$58.39 from Amazon »

All some people (i.e., my girlfriend) want is for people to listen to them. All other people want is for people to stop listening to them. For the first group I can try to extend my attention span to at least 7 minutes...

Check it out

445NM Infinity Blue Laser Blaster

$349.99 from Etsy »

Here's a 445NM Infinity Blue Laser Blaster by Tony Starks. I don't know if that's his real name or not, but if so now we know that having just one letter more than Iron Man makes you Laser Man. The trapezoidal-rhomboidal-pieced...

Buy Now

Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun

$62.03 from Amazon »

When it comes to delivery method, punching someone in the face has 3 tiers of awesome: 1) Bare fist; 2) Fist coated in brass knuckles; 3) Fist coated in brass knuckles juiced up to deliver 950,000 volts of blue lightning...

Check it out

Rebel Microlight Fidget Spinner

$70 - $130 from ZeroHour »

Know, and probably love, Zero Hour's new Rebel Microlight Fidget Spinner in 30 seconds or less with one click. This one. The short demo video gives you the full tour of the visual splendor that comes with merging a pair...