The Coolest Cooler

By: on July 08, 2014
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Is it cool enough to be called the Coolest? You decide. After months of anticipation (well, my 6-packs, margarita mix, and I were waiting with bated breath) the Coolest Cooler has finally launched its Kickstarter campaign. Yeah, it's cold. Throw in some ice, some brews, and some perishables and this cooler will preserve their chill and their freedom from bacteria and spoilage. But what makes the Coolest Cooler the ultimate in superlatives isn't just its 60-quart insulating capacity and dashing orangeness. The Coolest Cooler really gets the title from its:

  • Attachable 18V battery-powered rechargeable blender. For blended drinks and smoothies, the Coolest Cooler's built-in pulverizer can whir up more than 6 gallons of brain freeze juice on a single charge.
  • Removable waterproof Bluetooth speaker. Get some legit decibels while DJ-ing music from your smartphone or other Bluetooth-enabled device.
  • USB charger. The 18V blender battery can also feed power to phones, camera batteries, and other gear in need. It too is waterproof.
  • LED lid light. Unbreakable. Like your will to party from high noon into the darkest hours of the night.
  • Gear tie-downs. Coolest Cooler locking tie-downs "are like having a roof-rack on your cooler so three trips can be done in one." Handy for schlepping lawn chairs, blankets, fishing tackle, or a grill.
  • Cooler divider/cutting board. The cooler's split lid design enables access to blender ice without letting a rush of warm air into the canned/bottled beverage side of things. Also precludes the need to remove cups from their holders before opening the Coolest for a replacement beer.
  • Extra wide easy rolling tires. Double wide. Like my still-growing love for the Inspector Gadget of coolers.
  • Integrated storage for plates and knife. Stash up to 6 reusable plastic plates, which also double as a cutting board for the included ceramic paring knife.
  • Bottle opener. Let's see Drunk Cornelius try to walk off with this one.

The Coolest Cooler runs as a Kickstarter campaign through August 29, 2014. In my humble, yet incredibly important opinion, there is less than a 5% chance it won't get funded.

September 2014 Update: My above 5% comment could be the understatement of the year. The Coolest Cooler not only reached its $50,000 crowdfunding goal, but surpassed it by a factor of...266. At $13,285,226 in backer pledges, it now holds the record for most funded Kickstarter campaign of all time.