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Sloth Tea Infuser

By: on April 11, 2015
$9.99
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Uh oh. Mr. Sloth dozed off with his ass hanging in a cup of boiling water. And, mmmm, in contrast to skunk ass, sloth ass smells amazing. Like peachberry jasmine sutra. Or is that tranquil strawberry dream?

The Slow Brew Sloth Tea Infuser drapes over the side of a mug to steep the best cup of tea you'll ever sip. Or at least the laziest and most likely to get cooed at and hugged. This lethargic pop culture icon is made of heat-resistant silicone; it is free of BPA and phthalates.

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Wake 'n' Bake Coffee Mug

$49.95 from Amazon »

There are a ton of these wake 'n' bake mugs out there, but I went with the delightful navy blue one you see here because its marketing is genius. Coffee or tea alongside my morning tokes? Pssshhh, F that. Fill that pipe...

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Temperature-Controlled Electric Kettle

$59.99 from Amazon »

Just like you prefer some coffees and teas over others, coffees and teas prefer some temperatures of hot water over others. Taking the ease and efficiency of using an electric kettle to heat water one step further, the...

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MIITO Heating Rod & Kettle Alternative

$101 from MIITO »

MIITO is kind of like a magic wand that commands the elements. I mean, as long as the elements you want to command are liquid, and your command to them is to boil. An eco-friendly alternative to the kettle, MIITO combines...

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Slothzilla Shower Curtain

$29.99 from Amazon »

So...I guess Slothzilla sounded better than King Sloth or Sloth Kong? Or maybe it's creators were just taking a page out of sloth the animal's own book and being lazy about fact checking their re-imaginations of iconic...

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Whale Coffee Mug & Cookie Holder

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This whale mug with cookie-holding mouth would have to be life-sized to accurately reflect the number of frosted shamrocks I ate last night in a St. Paddy's Day / NCAA Tourney warmup session, and also the amount of coffee...

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Mad Scientist Iced Coffee Maker

$257.53 from Amazon »

Coffee has become a culture so packed with rabid enthusiasts and discerning connoisseurs it's hard not to compare its advocates to the wine world's oenophiles, the auto world's car buffs, and the marijuana world's potheads*....

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Chinese Fisherman Tea Bag Holders

$9.95 from Amazon »

Jiang Ziya, also known as Jiang Taigong, was a Chinese statesmen and strategist for Ji Chang, King Wen of the Zhou State, and helped him overthrow the Shang Dynasty to establish the Zhou Dynasty. Legend has it that before...

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The Doughnut Warming Coffee Mug

$29.99 from Amazon »

This mug has been specially crafted with a "plate" set into its rim so you can use your morning cup of coffee or tea to also hold and warm your morning doughnut. The only problem is that I heard your morning doughnut...

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Sloth Rings

Sold Out from Etsy »

My mama says this sloth ring reminds her of me, and although I'm not exactly sure what that means, based on my extensive knowledge of the movie Seven, which I discussed at great length over beers with an abnormally high...

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Confluence Topographic Tray

$1,700 from Artonomos »

Confluence looks so vast. Layers of birch plywood undulating over a rich landscape of smooth canyons and swirling colors carved especially to transport your wildest dreams and...your teapot. Zoom out. A little more. Oh....

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Deep Tea Diver Tea Strainer

Sold Out from Amazon »

My friend Esteban lives on a boat and at the end of the summer every year he hires a diver to scrounge around the water at the bottom of his slip to try to recover the myriad items he and his friends drop over the side...

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Transparent Electric Kettle

$26.54 from Amazon »

Like the MoMA store's transparent stock pot, Hamilton Beach's Glass Electric Kettle makes watching water boil a damn good time simply by providing a 360-degree view (well, almost) of the process. Bonus points go to the...