Self Defense Bottle Opener
Hey dude, what's that? Oh, it's a wickedly sharp and pointy self defense tool with devil horns that doubles as a bottle opener and also as a can impaler for shotgunning. Sweeeet! What's it called? The Immpy. The Wimpy? That's kind of a weird-- No the Immpy. Without the "W". So like that midget from Game of Thrones? No...well...yeah, I guess sort of. He's a very shrewd and cunning midget though, you know.
Crranky, random-double-consonant-loving makers of the Skkully bottle opener, have expanded their refreshment-cracking line of tools to include one that will also cut (or stab or gouge) a bitch. Immpy fits: through pointer and middle fingers, on guard to defend when hostility arises; atop bottle caps, on guard to pop when thirst arises; and anywhere along aluminum cans, on guard to pierce when a dare arises.
Made in Kansas of 16 gauge stainless steel, Immpy comes in a chipboard letterpress printed package with a 6" steel cable keychain.