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Oyster-Jack No 7 Shucker

By: on May 05, 2016
Oyster-Jack No 7 Shucker
$74.99
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The Oyster-Jack No 7 will have you shuckin' errrsters as fast as boobies flash on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras. This Arm of Champions is designed and priced especially for home use, but sacrifices none of the power and panache of Oyster-Jack's commercial-quality No 8 model. It can also shuck clams.

US-made, Oyster-Jack No 7 has a plastic composite base, stainless steel handle and fasteners, and my-abs-hard carbide-coated wedge. The wedge's V-shape is fashioned to penetrate oysters cleanly, and with a fraction of the grunt work (not to mention slices, stabs, and misfires) required when using a shucking knife.

Sidebar: I tried to use a knife to shuck an oyster once. What I determined is that shucking sucks (you can throw the F word in there too for extra emphasis and alliteration but I get angry emails every time I do it, so I'm refraining). But I'll go anywhere from some hoity-toity wine event with my girlfriend to a seafood shack in Mexico and see dudes in the kitchen who have oyster shucking as their one and only job. Hours on end, day after day, they shuck, shuck, shuck.

And then, last week my girlfriend made me watch this movie Burnt because it had dreamy Bradley Cooper in it. It was basically terrible, except some of the food looked good and there was a smokin' hot French girl in it for, like, 5 minutes. Anyway, while I realize this was a fictitious story not based on real events, Bradley Cooper played a chef who did the entire country of France wrong and then assigned himself the punishment of shucking 1 million oysters in New Orleans before he could return to Europe. ONE MILLION. By hand. I think it took him years.

I bet it would have taken him a month with an Oyster-Jack.

The Oyster-Jack No 7 seems likes a good fit for those who eat oysters often and by the bushel, or who just want to put on a show for their guests / family / hot date without working very hard and / or potentially impaling their hand and looking like a fool.