Indoor & Portable Brazilian Grill

By: on January 24, 2015
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Mmmm, Brazilian steak houses. Forget Chinese and Old Country Buffets, these rodizios are the true definitions of gustatory decadence and gluttony. All-you-can-eat grilled meat from the rotisserie, served table side--you don't even have to make the walk from your chair to the spread or stand in line behind some incompetent jackhole trying to scoop up Kung Pao Chicken with a set of tongs. And the best part...no, the two best parts?

1) The disc they give you when you sit declaring MAS! on the green-means-go side, and NO MAS! on the red, I'm-experiencing-hairline-cracks-along-my-small-intestine side.

2) The giant swords they use to skewer and serve everything from Brazilian sausages to boneless leg of lamb. And the resultant warning that all children in the rodizio should remain seated at all times.

Anyway, I'm sure this portable Brazilian BBQ doesn't produce meat packing quite the same magnitude of belly orgasms as those they use at the steak houses, but it still looks pretty alright for indoor, at-home use. You can also sit it on a camp stove to bring the flavors of Brazil to your outdoor adventures. I hear grizzlies are partial to Lombo com Queijo.

When used indoors, the Brazilian grill places over a gas stove burner so the gas flam can enter through a circular opening at its base, where it is diffused evenly to heat the food, inserted vertically on skewers inside. This package includes a pair of double skewers, 5 standard skewers, and a chrome-plated grill basket. Cook stake, chicken, fish, even vegetables, though why the hell would you want to do that? It's like the people who go to the rodizios and actually make a trip--like get up and walk over--to their salad bars. What a waste of energy and stomach space.

The stovetop/camping unit serves up to 8 people at a time, with a capacity for around 4-1/2 pounds of meat, all sizzled and ready de-skewer in less than 20 minutes. A catch basin at the bottom catches all meat drippings for use in Bloody Marys the next morning.

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