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Homemade Bacon Kit

By: on May 10, 2013
$16.99
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Would you say that bacon-themed things are getting a little old? I would. Unless, that is, the bacon-themed thing happens to be actual bacon. baconkit's nifty portable armory of curing tools and ingredients enables all swine-loving beings with opposable thumbs to turn 5 pounds of store-bought pork belly into 5 pounds of homemade pork ecstasy.

Each kit includes a curing bag, cure, maple sugar, a thermometer, and an instruction sheet. The DIY curing process is simple to execute, even for people who can't cook anything that doesn't slip into a Tosatabag, and directions are included both for basic cured bacon and candied-up maple bacon. baconkit promises that the loving, personal touch of your hand to the pig's belly will produce a slab of meaty heaven that won't shrink, shrivel, or release water when fried. Which both makes me very happy and also very concerned as to why the bacon I buy at the grocery store does recoil and spat in response to the heat of my skillet in these ways....

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F*ck, That's Delicious

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When I see the title F*ck, That's Delicious, all I can think of are the words, "Mm-hmm! This is a tasty burger!" I wonder if Action Bronson uses Jules Winnfield, or the Jules Winnfield talking action fig

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Amazingly Accurate Tomato Slicer

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Convince anyone you're an Olympic tomato wrangler with the Arc "Amazingly Accurate" Tomato Slicer! I don't know how often you need to segment out one of the juicy vegeta-fruits, but for me it's...eh, not that often. Maybe...

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SpiceStack Spice Organizer

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SALT Self-Defense Gun

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Lorenzo Maggiore already figured out how to A-Salt bugs in an effort keep our extermination of insects simple, clean, and green. Now we have a means of SALTing humans, this time in an effort to keep our defense against...

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Bug-A-Salt Exterminating Shotgun

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The Bug-A-Salt might be the coolest thing invented for killing winged and many-legged pests since clapping your hands together and not coming up empty. Using nothing more than a few granules of regular table salt as its...

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Yomo Simple Sushi Maker

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People always talk about sushi making as this formidable, elusive craft that many have tried, but all but the most elite and Jiro-Ono-blessed have failed to execute well. And while I basically agree with this assessment...

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Kitchen Ninja Knife Block

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A Kitchen Ninja Knife Block for all the Kitchen Klutzes like me! Skilled, stealthy, and precise with my blade hovering above an onion I am not, but my inner covert agent of feudal Japan would still like to see this knife...

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Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill

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Whole wheat in the toaster, bacon in the...other toaster, a yank of the iceberg, a slice of the tomato, and mmmm. BLTeee-licious. Without turning on the stove or getting popped in the eye with a grease BB....

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SKINZIT Electric Fish Skinner

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biem Instant Stick Butter Sprayer

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Whether you're looking to cut back on the butter or blanket your whole life in a dewy sheen of it, the forthcoming biem Butter Sprayer could be as revolutionary for your popcorn and toast as the Slotdog is for your wieners....

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Bacon Condoms

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Bill Gates, you put out an open call. You asked for the "next generation" in condoms. A design that will revolutionize safe sex practices by making the peen sheaths more desirable to wear. Men and birth control in third...

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The Whisk Wiper

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What is this whiskcraft I see before me? You mean worming my tongue between the wire loops and getting chocolate cake batter all over my face isn't the best way to clean off the whisk when my girlfriend is baking? Nah....