Homemade Bacon Kit
/homemade-bacon-kit-7787.jpg "Homemade Bacon Kit")
Would you say that bacon-themed things are getting a little old? I would. Unless, that is, the bacon-themed thing happens to be actual bacon. baconkit's nifty portable armory of curing tools and ingredients enables all swine-loving beings with opposable thumbs to turn 5 pounds of store-bought pork belly into 5 pounds of homemade pork ecstasy.
Each kit includes a curing bag, cure, maple sugar, a thermometer, and an instruction sheet. The DIY curing process is simple to execute, even for people who can't cook anything that doesn't slip into a Tosatabag, and directions are included both for basic cured bacon and candied-up maple bacon. baconkit promises that the loving, personal touch of your hand to the pig's belly will produce a slab of meaty heaven that won't shrink, shrivel, or release water when fried. Which both makes me very happy and also very concerned as to why the bacon I buy at the grocery store does recoil and spat in response to the heat of my skillet in these ways....
/salt-self-defense-gun-32170.jpg?mode=crop "SALT Self-Defense Gun")
SALT Self-Defense Gun
Lorenzo Maggiore already figured out how to A-Salt bugs in an effort keep our extermination of insects simple, clean, and green. Now we have a means of SALTing humans, this time in an effort to keep our defense against...
Bug-A-Salt Exterminating Shotgun
The Bug-A-Salt might be the coolest thing invented for killing winged and many-legged pests since clapping your hands together and not coming up empty. Using nothing more than a few granules of regular table salt as its...
Bacon Condoms
Bill Gates, you put out an open call. You asked for the "next generation" in condoms. A design that will revolutionize safe sex practices by making the peen sheaths more desirable to wear. Men and birth control in third...
TailGator - Gas Powered Blender
Ahhh, summertime. Smells like freshly cut...margaritas. Thanks to the TailGator, a blender with cajones the size of a 25cc Poulan 2-stroke, 2 1/2 horsepower gas engine. It's not a new product - or the only one of its...
Foodini 3D Food Printer
I am 0% surprised that someone made a 3D food printer. If we can print jewelry and home decor and machine parts and sugar, why shouldn't we be able to print dinner? Barcelona-based company Natural Machines has created...
/yomo-simple-sushi-maker-22568.jpg "Yomo Simple Sushi Maker")
Yomo Simple Sushi Maker
People always talk about sushi making as this formidable, elusive craft that many have tried, but all but the most elite and Jiro-Ono-blessed have failed to execute well. And while I basically agree with this assessment...
/Bacon-Flavored-Lube-1413.jpg?mode=crop "Bacon Flavored Lube")
Bacon Flavored Lube
When we, collectively as Americans, stumble onto something that catches on with the unintelligent majority, we immediately begin the process of running it into the ground. See: The Kardashians, Myspace and... bacon flavored...
/tactical-bacon-6897.jpg?mode=crop "Tactical Bacon")
Tactical Bacon
I don't really like to shoot to kill--less due to the ethics of felling a majestic beast than the fact that blood and rigor mortis make me squeamish--but I think if given the choice between taking down a deer or taking...
/kitchen-essentials-for-the-31656.jpg?mode=crop "Kitchen Essentials For The Man's Man")
Kitchen Essentials For The Man's Man
No heart-shaped dutch ovens here! These kitchen essentials are geared towards the man. More specifically, the man's man. You know, the man who likes to attack his steaks with seasoning, sear them just beyond bloody, and...
/things-that-make-you-go-mmm-52103.jpg?mode=crop "Things That Make You Go Mmm: 19 Food Gifts for 2021")
Things That Make You Go Mmm: 19 Food Gifts for 2021
My 19-course collection of food gifts for 2021 isn't just a meal of highfalutin foods for foodies, it's a meal of things that make you go Mmm even if you're just a normal human being who likes to consume food. Or cook...
/biem-stick-butter-sprayer-21465.jpg "biem Instant Stick Butter Sprayer")
biem Instant Stick Butter Sprayer
Whether you're looking to cut back on the butter or blanket your whole life in a dewy sheen of it, the forthcoming biem Butter Sprayer could be as revolutionary for your popcorn and toast as the Slotdog is for your wieners...
/steakstones-8604.jpg?mode=crop "SteakStones")
SteakStones
SteakStones are really just a way for people who are lazy or lousy cooks to host a dinner party without going to too much trouble or F'ing everything up. That being said, SteakStones still look awesomely rad and radly...