Willy Wonka is a pseudonym. His real name is Geraint Krumpe. And in these health-conscious, no-sugar, no-carb, caveman-diet times, he's traded in the chocolate factory for endless crates of protein powerhouses, and one more reason the ovo-lobbyists of America can call their golden child the incredible, edible egg. Meet the Golden Goose. Powered by human hand, it's a low-tech kitchen tool that scrambles eggs without breaking or infiltrating their shells.
Krumpe notes that in-shell scrambled eggs, known as "golden eggs", are a recent culinary innovation as elusive as they are toothsome. Golden eggs are whipped to perfection internally, without the introduction of outside air. Once shaken not stirred, they cook into delicately delicious soft or hard boiled eggs, fried eggs, deviled eggs, pickled eggs, egg salad eggs, egg sandwich eggs, Orange Juliuses...any egg preparation you normally enjoy, but allegedly in exponentially tastier form. And while golden eggs are difficult to find in most restaurants, Krumpe's own innovation to facilitate the innovation will make them accessible to us all, anytime we're in the mood to exert a little elbow grease.
In operation, the Golden Goose looks sort of like the Shake Weight of kitchen gadgets. The difference: it works. Instantly. By alternating the rotation of an egg back and forth with a double-handled cordage system, the Goose can blend its whites and yolk together without penetrating the shell. Forget the whisk and the bowl and the errant shell chunks. This is 2014. This is the era of harnessing pure, raw centrifugal force to scramble an egg.
The Golden Goose shakes at any angle comfortable to the shaker. Eggs remain intact during the process inside an elastic cradle designed to fit varieties of most sizes and shapes. The cradle's fins balance the egg and adjust the center of gravity to maintain a smooth and efficient motion during scrambling. Cradles are fitted inside 2 hinged halves of a Polypropylene shell, which lock in place with the turn of a ring. The cords extending from either end are 1/8" thick.
Golden Geese in-shell egg scrambles are available initially to those up for crowdfunding the project on Kickstarter. Krumpe's campaign, which was already fully funded at printing, runs through May 15, 2014. Anticipated Goose delivery date is October 2014.
November 2014 Update: Golden Goose egg scramblers are now available for direct purchase--follow the link below.