Cuttlefish Bottle Opener
With one of the group's largest ratios of brain-to-body size, they say the cuttlefish is among the smartest of all invertebrates. So I guess it is well-suited to the task of cracking open my microbrews and bottles of craft ginger ale. More adept than the squid anyway. The squid is like the incapable and insufferable Rain Man of the cephalopods. Lumbering around the ocean, arbitrarily shooting ink and sinking ships. But I picked Rain Man because at least the squid does have one unparalleled talent: it slices into rings, fries, and pairs with aioli magnificently.
I'll take my cuttlefish uncooked and in one piece though. One, 3D-printed solid metal piece thanks to Bathsheba Grossman, who has designed this nifty machined tool for popping bottle tops. Post-printing, she also fits each cuttlefish with glass inlaid eyes that glow under UV light. The sculptural bottle openers are pricey, but for true mollusk fanatics, no collection would be complete without one.
The cuttlefish measures 1-1/2" x 3-1/2". Grossman notes they are also available for purchase through Shapeways in a variety of metals and plastics, the latter of which are much less expensive, albeit not strong enough to tackle bottle caps.