The Chill-O-Matic is for when your friend Cornelius takes the last sodie from the fridge and doesn't. Put. More. In! Cornelius, you jackass! It's like, it's like...what's that, Sugar Lips? Huh. She-Ra: Princess of Power says it's like when I use the last of the toilet paper and don't replace the empty roll with a new one from the hall closet.
Combining the powers of ice cubes and spinning in circles, the Chill-O-Matic beverage cooler is made to frostify any 12 ounce can of liquid refreshment in 60 seconds. That's 240 times faster than a refrigerator and, like, 5 times faster than having my ice queen ex-girlfriend Karen blow on it.
The Chill-O-Matic also promises not to "cause any fizz or foam, ever!" It runs on 2 x AA batteries and is light enough to take to picnics, tailgates, BBQs, and the beach. You'll need just a small Ziploc bag of ice to achieve total drink chill on a 12-pack.