Air Fork One
/air-fork-one-11695.jpg "Air Fork One")
- LEGO Utensils - $14.75
- Construction Equipment Utensil Set - $17.49
- Duck Face Baby Feeding Spoon - $6.92
- Dinosaur Fork & Spoon Set - $13.00
- Ms. Food Face Plate - $12.99
That's right, kid. You wanna play Here Comes the Airplane, you pilot that aircraft yourself. I'm sick of contemporary society's unbridled pandering to children. They have two hands. Why can't they feed themselves? Put on their own pants? Wipe their own butt cracks? What better way to train fine motor skills than setting hunger, nakedness, and smelling like poo as the consequences of failure?
In other news, I might also like an Air Fork One for myself because while eating straight Lucky Charms marshmallows is fun enough in and of itself, eating oatmeal is mind-numbingly boring. Delivering wads of lumpy slop to my mouth with an airplane could actually make it bearable. (Note: I wouldn't eat oatmeal at all, but apparently if I don't add it and other affronts like vegetables to my diet I'm going to die at 40.)
Air Fork One, the utensil of future Presidents...or at least the kids you tell they could be President one day even if they have no shot in hell...is made of stainless steel encased in food-grade, dishwasher-safe silicone.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
Baby Head Masks
People who think babies are angelic and precious, I see your Gerber models, and raise you these three baby head masks. No, make that these three enormous, bulbous, horrifying, spawn-of-Chucky baby head masks. Landon Meier...
The Baby Muzzle
First we saw the Japanese Shouting Vase, an ABS resin stress-reliever that mutes the wails of angry or frustrated souls who need to unleash their fury without disturbing the peace. Now the brilliant minds of Japan--perhaps...
In Vitro Baby Branding
Ink, sperm and eggs go in, a financially secure future comes out. In vitro fertilization is expensive, and let's face it, so are babies. What better way to offset the costs, and maybe make a little extra (elbow-elbow)...
Infant Circumcision Trainer
Expecting parents who want to trim the fat from ever-rising hospital bills now have the option to save over $2,000 if they are willing to trim the skin from their newborn sons. Created by Ezra Messer, a mohel with more...
Baby Thug Onesie
"I just did 9 months on the inside...and now that I'm out, my mom is making me wear an orange onesie that, for some reason, encourages many who see me to double-bump a fist against their chest and flash me two fingers."...
/mission-critical-baby-carrier-18296.jpg "Mission Critical Baby Carrier for Dads")
Mission Critical Baby Carrier for Dads
Through September 13th, 2105, click here to enter Dude's Mission Critical Baby Carrier & Daypack giveaway. It's your chance to MOLLE up those diapers, bottles & 6-month-olds with a Baby Carrier and Carrier Daypack combo...
Skoda Man-Pram
At the end of the day, you'll still be a dude pushing around a baby...or a pomeranian...in a stroller, but at least with Skoda's Man-Pram you can mow the fuck over anyone who gives you shit about it...
/the-baby-shusher-27529.jpg?mode=crop "The Baby Shusher")
The Baby Shusher
Either the Baby Shusher shhhhhhh-ing machine is a Nobel Prize-caliber invention, or the baby in that video learned in the womb how to be an Oscar-caliber actor. Arrrgh, that sound, that wailing. I can't think of a noise...
/windi-the-gaspasser-gas-22052.jpg "Windi the Gaspasser Gas & Colic Reliever")
Windi the Gaspasser Gas & Colic Reliever
Windi the Gaspasser is one of those WTF products I as a childless dude saw and immediately thought was, in this order: a funny joke; a disgusting not-joke; a sad reality. You basically stick this little (un)plug in your...
Stirio - Automatic Pot Stirrer
Life hacking innovator Unikia adds the Stirio to its online showroom of tools that will expedite and elevate the filling of my belly. We previously saw the Compleat FoodSkin flexible lunchbox, a simple trick for keeping...
/chefn-cob-corn-stripper-60401.jpg?mode=crop "Chef'n Cob Corn Stripper")
Chef'n Cob Corn Stripper
This Cob Corn Stripper (not to be confused with a lady in a cornfield on a Hitch 'Er Up Stripper Pole) better work damn good, and without making a mess, because despite my rant last week about breaking up ground
/monbento-x-opinel-on-the-go-60118.jpg?mode=crop "Monbento x Opinel On-the-Go Meal Kit")
Monbento x Opinel On-the-Go Meal Kit
If you'd like a fancy pants lunch box and some fancy pants cutlery to properly complement your fancy pants lunch of leftover lamb chops with blackberry chutney, look no further than Opinel's On-the-Go Meal Kit collaboration...