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Mini Nutella Jars

By: on March 24, 2016
$16.99
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Finally I can justify eating an entire jar of Nutella. The only problem is that these mini glass bottles of the creamerrific hazelnut spread come in packs of 16. So it's going to be like me and a bag of fun-size snickers: the best of intentions breeding the worst of actions. And a fun-size-filled belly that around 3 days from now will most definitely not be fun-size.

Each real glass jar of Nutella for One contains 0.88 ounces of the Italian-made good stuff. Pack them in lunches, set them out for parties, give them as gifts, or just sleep with one under you pillow at night in case you have a bad dream and need a choco-nut hug to console you.

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Chocolate Candy Bar Maker

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Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, hide yo' husband! No one's getting their hands on the Chocolate Candy Bar Maker but me! Chocolate's loyal, and gluttonous, and selfish little whore slave. No, redact that redaction. Whore!...

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Punch in the Nuts Snack Mix

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Edible Anus Chocolates

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Several years ago, Willy Wonka sat down with the UK's most distinguished chocolatiers to lay down the next big release in artisan chocolate. He tried many of their stunning and revolutionary manipulations of the finest...

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Kilner Butter Churn

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Churn, baby, churn - Butter Inferno! - Churn, baby, churn - Churn that mother around! Ahhh, Kilner's manual butter churn sure does bring back memories of my childhood. Not that I used to churn butter by hand as a kid...

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Grubbin' on the Couch Bowls

It's time for a tactical chowdown. No Netflix marathon is complete without a parade of snacks on the coffee table, and every parade marches better with a bowl of Froot Loops as its grand marshal. Frosted Flakes if you...

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20-Pound Chocolate Lionel Richie Head

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I didn't think there could be anything better than having a hot chick sculpt an enormous model of my head out of clay, but...Hello! Chocolate beats mud any day. Lionel Richie. You lucky bastard....

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biem Instant Stick Butter Sprayer

$129 - $159 from Biem »

Whether you're looking to cut back on the butter or blanket your whole life in a dewy sheen of it, the forthcoming biem Butter Sprayer could be as revolutionary for your popcorn and toast as the Slotdog is for your wieners....

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Chef'n Cob Corn Stripper

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This Cob Corn Stripper (not to be confused with a lady in a cornfield on a Hitch 'Er Up Stripper Pole) better work damn good, and without making a mess, because despite my rant last week about breaking up ground beef...

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Milk & Cookie Shot Maker

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Milk & cookies. & liquid chocolate. & shots. Maybe I'll make it through this year after all. Wait, what? I have to make it all myself? With molds and melters and ingredients from the store? Come on! I thought I could...

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ManBuckets

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8lb Bag of Cereal Marshmallows

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I must have stumbled upon the end of a rainbow because Jack. Pot. My days of spending 15 minutes crouched over my cereal bowl picking out all the boring healthy* brown bits from Lucky Charms are about to be as over as...

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Han Solo Carbonite Chocolate Bar

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What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term...