X-Rated Fortune Cookies
Every time you masturbate, God chokes a kitten. I don't know if that bit of wisdom can be found in this Chinese to-go container of of X-Rated Fortune Cookies, but it should be a staple. Get your hands out of your pants and onto something that will help you make something of your life, son. Even if it's just a haggard cougar with a hefty divorce settlement.
With gems such as, "If you think you feel good, wait 'til you feel me," and "Tight butts drive me nuts," the X-Rated descriptor on this set of fortune cookies may be an exaggeration, but maybe even more crowd-pleasing are the serving suggestions on the back of the cookies' box. Apparently, they're the perfect complement to dishes ranging from Cum Tu Soon and Cream of Sum Yong Guy to Wai Tu Yung and Toung Sum Chick.
Boxes contain 6 cookies a piece, and come (hard, I'll bet) in sets of 4, for 24 cookies total.