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Pussy Natural Energy Drink

By: on July 05, 2016
$23.92
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So many ways to interpret the Pussy energy drink. Does it give men in need the bravado to get some? Reinvigorate the nether regions of women who aren't in the mood? Inject some downtown youthfulness into cougars on the prowl? Or is Pussy simply the energy drink equivalent of Apollo Peak's cat wine?

According to its manufacturer, Pussy is a natural, caffeinated soda that is "fresh, clean, and highly enjoyable like only Pussy can be." Oh. So really it's just a gimmicky name slapped across a can of sodie for shock value. Reminds me of a book called Syrup in which a broke marketing grad comes up with a brilliant idea for a beverage called F*ck that's made of Who cares? and tastes like Who cares? and pitches it to Coca-Cola. And oh F*ck do they love it.

This Pussy, probably unlike most you have encountered, contains the natural, fresh fruit flavors of white grape and lime. Its caffeine kick comes from Guarana.

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Chill-O-Matic Automatic Drink Chiller

$26.99 from Amazon »

The Chill-O-Matic is for when your friend Cornelius takes the last sodie from the fridge and doesn't. Put. More. In! Cornelius, you jackass! It's like, it's like...what's that, Sugar Lips? Huh. She-Ra: Princess of Power...

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Oral Rehydration Salts

$13.99 from Amazon »

Oral rehydration salts should part of everyone's survival kit. Especially your survival kit for New Year's Eve. And Christmas Eve. And the office holiday party with the open bar. And your friend Cornelius' Ugly Christmas...

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The Can Stamp

$6.95 from Can Stamp »

Ever since the days of colonialism and the American Frontier...no...way before that. Ever since the days animals began eking out a drop more urine even when they didn't have to pee just so that they could piss on things...

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Power Glow Bioluminescent Energy Drink

Throw away the EL wire and chemical-laced makeup. If you want to look like a club kid, Doctor Manhattan, or a walking biohazard, come the end of 2015 all you'll have to do is gulp & glow. On top of injecting your blood...

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The Can Cannon Soda Can Launcher

$398.95 from XProducts »

Big & Rich recommend ladies save a horse, ride a cowboy, and the Can Cannon recommends cowboys save a bullet, fire a shook-up sodie can....

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Levitating CUP Zero Gravity Drinkware

$139 - $249 from Levitating CUP »

We've seen levitation around here before. A lot. In speakers. In lamps. In freakin' bonsai trees. But the Levitating CUP still makes me Ooooh and Ahhhh because, well, it contains alcohol. In a dazzling an

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SolarGaps - Solar Panel Window Blinds

$390 - $1,910 from SolarGaps »

Blinded by the light / Sucked it up like some juice / Powered my tech all through the night. SolarGaps window blinds aren't your average smart home addition. They don't just auto-open, close, and adjust based on environmental...

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blk. - Black Bottled Water

$44.48 from Amazon »

We wondered too, but the answer is no. blk. black bottled water is not part of an SNL skit la black caulk or Colon Blow. It's a real artesian spring water from aquifers in Canada's Sandiland Forest Reserve. And it takes...

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Dyson Cyclone Belt Coffee Machine

Dyson keeps your life clean, cool, and now--if Jaehyo Lee's concept for a coffee maker comes to percolation--caffeinated. The Dyson Cyclone Belt Coffee Machine repurposes the technology of Dyson's vacuum cleaners and...

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Bar Bones Skull Drink Markers

$14.77 from Amazon »

Enough with the drink charms shaped like hearts and kitty cats. I need a sinister skull to mind my glass of rose bubbles. Uh, I mean, whiskey. Neat....

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Nuvo Eco Ceramic Coffee Bean Roaster

$34.50 from Amazon »

During heating you need swing the Nuvo Eco Ceramic Roaster constantly, drawing an imaginary number "8" or an elliptical orbit. And hold tight to its leather-covered handle. Like in the video above. For, like, two-and-a-half...

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Wave Drink Siphon

$12 from Shapeways »

I mean, I'm fine getting my own glass of SunnyD, but I guess if you really want to give me some of yours, alright. Go ahead and Wave it over....