141

Kama Sutra Chocolates (NSFW)

By: on May 16, 2014
Discontinued

I smell sex and...candy here. It's our favorite form of ancient raunch cacao-ified into a box of Kama Sutra chocolates. Now everyone can give 8 slabs of tasty sex positions to their favorite horndog, or the pillar of reserve they'd like to crumble into a hot hormonal mess. Or be like me and keep the set as new alone-time material for themselves. Given that I'm pretty much always either randy or hungry, pornographic chocolates could be about as good as it gets.

The Frenchmade Kama Sutra chocolates feature highly detailed (really; look at the close-up shot) 3D depictions of the creases, crevices, and dangling appendages produced by Crouching Tiger, The Plough, and 6 more of the Indian text's most celebrated sexual positions. Contents include 3 dark chocolate, 3 milk chocolate, and 2 white chocolate bars, totaling 200 grams of sexual and gustatory bliss lustily displayed in a wooden box.

Note: Kama Sutra chocolates are suitable for vegetarians, but entirely unsafe for prudes.

The Kama Sutra chocolates are a top Dude Gift for Your Girlfriend and Gift for Valentine's Day pick.

Buy Now

Edible Anus Chocolates

$7.36 from Amazon »

Several years ago, Willy Wonka sat down with the UK's most distinguished chocolatiers to lay down the next big release in artisan chocolate. He tried many of their stunning and revolutionary manipulations of the finest...

Buy Now

The Pop-up Book of Sex (NSFW)

$77.86 from Amazon »

It's a good thing The Pop-up Book of Sex came to us (hard, I hear) over 10 years ago because the decade in between gave YouTubers plenty of time to put together a detailed video flip-through of every single one of the...

Check it out

20-Pound Chocolate Lionel Richie Head

$833.19 from Firebox.com »

I didn't think there could be anything better than having a hot chick sculpt an enormous model of my head out of clay, but...Hello! Chocolate beats mud any day. Lionel Richie. You lucky bastard....

Buy Now

Chocolate Candy Bar Maker

$37.80 from Amazon »

Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, hide yo' husband! No one's getting their hands on the Chocolate Candy Bar Maker but me! Chocolate's loyal, and gluttonous, and selfish little whore slave. No, redact that redaction. Whore!...

Buy Now

Ruf Retard 907 - Intimate Spray for Men

$44.80 from Amazon »

Oh man, between the Jesus drink markers and this bottle of Retard spray, it's a day of low-hanging fruit in my world. No, more accurately in this case, low-hanging johnsons. No, people who power trip on being offended...

Buy Now

Milk & Cookie Shot Maker

$20.40 from Amazon »

Milk & cookies. & liquid chocolate. & shots. Maybe I'll make it through this year after all. Wait, what? I have to make it all myself? With molds and melters and ingredients from the store? Come on! I thought I could...

Check it out

Han Solo Carbonite Chocolate Bar

$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term...

Check it out

Kama Sutra Chess Pieces (NSFW)

Discontinued

And suddenly, the intense inaction and sporadic finger movements of chess captivate the masses and enamor even those who have no idea what the hell is going on. Erotic chess pieces abound in Etsy vendor Nicola Ford's...

Buy Now

10-Pound Toblerone Bar

$79.54 from Amazon »

Toblerone has built 45, 100-gram servings into their 10-pound mountain range of chocolate, honey, and almond nougat. That's:...

Buy Now

Kama Pootra: 52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop

$9.89 from Amazon »

Both the best and the worst part about the Kama Pootra is that many of its 52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop turn a visit to the crapper into a group activity. I mean, on the one hand, who couldn't use a little help pinching...

Buy Now

Star Wars Kama Sutra

$17.55 from Amazon »

SN Herder has thought a lot about the Force awakening. So much that his mind went...there. First the gutter, and then the toy bin. Herder says he made The Extremely Unofficial and Highly Unauthorized Star Wars Kama Sutra...

Check it out

Peanut Butter Cup Cake

Discontinued

A gargantuan mail-order Peanut Butter Cup Cake, stacked with double layers of rich chocolate devil's food hugging real peanut butter filling, and then drowned in a dark chocolate shell, is the reason acronyms like OMFG...