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Ice Straws

By: on November 04, 2012
$9.07
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Ice straws are what I will give children to drink hot chocolate with so I don't have to hear them whine and cry about how it's too hot and they burnt their tongue and waaa, waaa, waaa, I want a hug. I often want a hug too, you little wussies, but when I ask for one from your mom she makes a face, and sometimes hits me in mine. So take this straw of ice, stick it in, and suck it up. Fast, because I hear hot things melt frozen ones.

Up to six, 8" ice straws materialize from silicone trays with long cylindrical molds that accept water, and probably other liquids that freeze, such as juice and Kool-Aid, for most excellent libation accessories. Now I don't always drink pomegranate martinis, but when I do, I prefer to drink them through pomegranate juice straws.

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Keter Cool Bar - Outdoor Table & Cooler

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Geizeer Ice Cube Air Conditioner

$119 - $129 from Geizeer »

Make that "Geizeer Super Cheap and Eco-Friendly Ice Cube Air Conditioner." (And it's actually pronounced "Guy-zer," not "Gee-zer," even though in my head it will always be the latter.) At an operational cost of less than...

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The Frost Pipe - DIY a Pipe from Ice

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This Frost Pipe isn't made of no corn cob, and it's not for kiddies building snowmen (or kiddies at all.) This Frost Pipe is a 3-piece freezer mold that lets you DIY your own pipe out of ice. What the Ice Luge is to drinkers...

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Herb & Lou's Cocktail-Infused Ice Cubes

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Melted, not stirred. Herb & Lou's Infused Cubes arrive as 3 things waiting to happen: 1) 12 blocks of ice; 2) 12 rounds of tasty cocktails; and 3) 12 times the good times, since you won't have to play bartender all night....

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The Whiskey Wedge

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One thing I can't stomach is getting piss drunk on piss warm whiskey. And though I do enjoy the array of giant cubes and fancy globes and Darth Vader-shaped ice molds now available for me to chill it with, their stubborn...

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Boobs Ice Luge

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And you always thought she was an icy bitch because you couldn't get to second base. The Boob Luge puts a positive spin on the cold reality of interacting with women. Also, just like in the good ol' days of infancy, it...

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Wave Drink Siphon

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I mean, I'm fine getting my own glass of SunnyD, but I guess if you really want to give me some of yours, alright. Go ahead and Wave it over....

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pureLYFT Energy Stir Sticks

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A spinana-berry smoothie pureLYFT-ed up with a cuppa-coffee's worth of caffeine. My girlfriend said that would knock out my Sunday hangover. And, washed down with 6 strips of bacon and some biscuits & gravy, it pretty...

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Gripforce Retractable Cleat Ice Boots

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Where were Gripforce's retractable spike boots when I was taking the banana peel challenge?! The Swedish-designed "Intelligent Winter Boot" intends to stamp out 2 widespread problems with cold weather footwear: 1) slipperiness;...

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Flexi Freeze Ice Vest

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My ex-girlfriend Karen doesn't need a Flexi Freeze cooling vest because the ice in her heart is strong enough to chill her entire chest cavity, but if you do a lot of manual labor, have to wear a heavy costume, or are...

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AK47 Ice Cube Tray

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I wonder what happens if you're choking on an ice cube? I think I would just calmly wait until it melted like a complete gangster. Though last week, I almost choked on my wad of 4 pieces of trident gum and went into hysterics...

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Battle-Rattle Whiskey Chillers

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As a Platoon Leader in Ft. Carson, CO, Garrett Coker made a bet with a buddy on who would nab the higher Gunnery score. The winner would receive a bottle of Scotch. Coker won. He saw his buddy again a few years later...