Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce
Not only is this item called Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce, but it's sold by a vendor named Professor Phardtpounders. How tacky and immature. I want some. Specifically, I want a concoction of Scotch bonnet peppers, mustard, modified food starch, salt, onions, water, vinegar, turmeric, sugar, and sodium benzoate to breathe uncomfortable, yet cleansing fire into my excretory system. I could also probably use an egg dog to pour my Colon Cleaner over on the way in, and then some Subtle Butt pads and a Squatty Potty to help manage it on the way out.