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Cereal Motel Adult Cereals

By: on March 21, 2017
$12.50
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Cereal Motel has a slightly different take on "adult" cereal than Fiber One and unfrosted Mini Wheats do. It's a take I like a whole, whole lot more than whole grains and improved bowel movements. Cereal Motel makes "deliciously inappropriate cereal for grown-ups." And, yes, the image on the cover of their box of Booty Pops is indeed a nod to the infamous Kim Kardashian nude shoot for Paper Magazine. And also Catwoman. Perhaps a suggestion to whomever casts the next Batman movie.

Can we pause on that for a minute? Kim Kardashian as Catwoman. Alright, whether you just vomited or jizzed in your pants, let's get cleaned up and back to our dirty cereal.

Maybe even better than Cereal Motel's Booty Pops, Porn Flakes, Vice Krispies, and Sugar Tits is the prize they'll mail to you if you cut out and collect tabs from any 10 boxes: a tray of Kissing Cups, to-go coffee cups with human face lids you can rated-R make out with as you guzzle your morning coffee and mow down on some adult cereal.

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Sexy TRON Outfit

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TRON: Legacy Siren Gem Bodysuit

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Sadly, this bodysuit covers more skin than the TRON corset, but since it's made out of stretch fabric instead of 12-gauge plastic, it does allow for increased mobility during re-enactments of the movie's action sequences...

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Wake 'n' Bake Coffee Mug

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There are a ton of these wake 'n' bake mugs out there, but I went with the delightful navy blue one you see here because its marketing is genius. Coffee or tea alongside my morning tokes? Pssshhh, F that. Fill that pipe...

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Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill

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Whole wheat in the toaster, bacon in the...other toaster, a yank of the iceberg, a slice of the tomato, and mmmm. BLTeee-licious. Without turning on the stove or getting popped in the eye with a grease BB....

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