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Canned Dragon Meat

By: on February 21, 2014
$13.98
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Canned Dragon Meat. It's like Canned Unicorn Meat, but from a slain dragon instead of a slain unicorn. It probably tastes a lot tougher, maybe a little charred, but since slaying a dragon is considered heroic and grounds for receipt of a beautiful princess and the keys to a kingdom, while slaying a unicorn is considered the most base of all evils, eating a dragon is probably less likely to get you harassed by PETA. Also, if you didn't eat the dragon, it would probably eat the unicorn.

Canned Dragon Meat arrives direct from the Sisters of Radiant Farms in Scotland. The basic can contains belly, brisket, butt, and pointy parts from newly butchered scaled beasts, though special orders of dragons that have been sword felled and preternaturally preserved in their tins for over a thousand years are available for those who demonstrate great merit and valor. And by that the Sisters mean negotiations start at 1,000 British Pounds.

Disappointing Spoiler: Actual Canned Dragon Meat contents do not come from an actual dragon. Further, actual Canned Dragon Meat contents are not actually edible.

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