46

20 Pounds of Japanese Wagyu Beef Filet Mignons

By: on January 12, 2017
Sold Out from
Check It Out

One look at these Japanese Wagyu beef filet mignons--their decadent marbling, their popped-cherry rosiness--and you're like, F you, dude! Why would you show me the most delicious meat on earth? There goes my New Year's resolution to lose 20 pounds! But just calm down there for a minute. Long enough to check out the price tag on Loco Steaks' 100% authentic, A5-grade Kuroge breed cows. See? May as well stick with the diet because it's going to take at least as long to save up enough to buy their 20 pounds as it is to lose 20 of your own.

OK, now you can say it.

F you, dude! Why would you show me the most delicious meat on earth that I can't afford? There goes my New Year's resolution not to troll internet bloggers!

On the bright side, you can save almost 50% by buying only 10 pounds.

Loco Steaks packs 2 x 10-pound slabs of whole-piece frozen Wagyu beef into vacuum-sealed carriers for shipment. Filets arrive boneless and with a guaranteed "perfectly marbled texture" for maximal juiciness and in-your-mouth meltiness.

The company says its Kuroge Wagyu cattle are raised humanely and on grass for 30 months. Their natural diet consists of wheat, rice, corn, and barley, and they enjoy a stress-free life with regular massages for muscle stimulation (no, that last part is not a joke.)

Check it out

Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets

Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...

Buy Now

Ziv's Portable Smoker

$119.95 from Amazon »

Ziv likes his fish straight out of the smoker the same night he catches it. Even if he's spending that night in Mother Nature's backyard instead of his own. He created Ziv's Portable Smoker - a cooker box that collapses...

Check it out

Country Archer Natural Meat Snacks

$2.75 - $6 from Country Archer »

Country Archer makes meat snacks for those of us who are done with dry, brittle jerky that tastes like nothing but fake smoke and salt, and feels like it's going to puncture our gut when we swallow it. And also for those...

Buy Now

15-Minute Meat & Vegetable Vacuum Marinator

$89.90 from Amazon »

Not quite as good as tumbling your meat into diamonds, but way better than waiting 12 hours for it to marinate. The Chef's Elite 15-Minute Marinator uses a vacuum system and a (literal) drum roll to (literally) turn your...

Check it out

The Food Kracker

$14.95 - $19.95 from Food Kracker, Inc. »

The Food Kracker looks to be as gratifying in application as it is effective. Almost as good as when you buy a bag of ice that gets all hunked up together in the freezer, so when you want to use it you lift it really...

Buy Now

The Original Po' Man Charcoal Grill

$114.99 from Amazon »

"It looks like a trash can and tastes better than an Egg, so it will be the conversation piece of your next BBQ." So say the creators of the Po' Man, a grill that sets up with a set down on the ground, operates on plain...

Buy Now

Grill Tumbler

$49.99 from Amazon »

Tumble your raw meat and veggies into BBQ gold! Or at least make sure they're fully marinated and evenly cooked with the help of Brookstone's Grill Tumbler. Step 1: Chop your grub and dump it into the enclosed octagon....

Buy Now

Sansaire Sous Vide Immersion Circulator

$199 from Amazon »

A sous vide machine is one of my best gift picks for anyone you know who likes to cook, and especially for anyone you know who likes to cook for you. Traditionally giant, cumbersome, and expensive temperature-controlled...

Buy Now

Big Burger Press with Built-in Dimpler

$21.99 from Amazon »

Cave Tools believes their burger press to be a champion of Larger, Thicker & Juicier. The silicone mold has 6 slots for creating respectable 1/3-pound patties, plus a built-in burger dimpler to dig a divot in each that...

Check it out

SteakStones

$106.47 - $152.13 from Steakstones »

SteakStones are really just a way for people who are lazy or lousy cooks to host a dinner party without going to too much trouble or F'ing everything up. That being said, SteakStones still look awesomely rad and radly...

Check it out

Ayoba-Yo Biltong Beef Snacks

$8.99 - $16.99 from Ayoba-Yo »

Ayoba-Yo makes Biltong. And if saying so sounds like I'm speaking in a foreign tongue, it's because I a little bit am. Both "ayoba" and "Biltong" are words more commonly heard in South Africa. The former, at least as...

Buy Now

Meat Shredding Claws

$14.95 from Amazon »

Second only to my teeth--and probably preferred by the other people at the BBQ--these Claws from OXO shred meat with quickness, efficiency, and panache. Well, as much panache as a eagle's talons or a coupla garden rakes...