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Schweddy Balls Ice Cream

By: on September 10, 2011

Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls. The classic SNL skit comes to life in the form of delicious schweddy balls ice cream. Mmmm.... I can almost taste it.

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Sweet Spot Instant Ice Cream Maker

$43.51 - $45.98 from Amazon »

The Sweet Spot Instant Ice Cream Maker is basically the creamy dairy treat version of the slushie maker I used every weekend at my grandma's house as a kid. But here, to accommodate the flash-freezing of your cream and...

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Milk & Cookies Shots

Now that the Cookie Monster has had his fling with Siri, maybe he can engage the services of Alexa to order him a dozen...or 8 dozen...of Dirty Cookie's Milk & Cookie Shots. I can't wait to see what he gets up to while...

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i-Scream Vibrator

$79.09 from Firebox.com »

I scream, you scream, we all scream for i-Scream! But mostly you, ladies. I just like sex toy designer Shiri Zinn's new vibrator because it makes you happy. And also encourages me to go get a Vanilla Caramel Nestle Drumstick...

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Colon Blow Granola

Sold Out from Amazon »

Take a guess. How many bowls of your oat bran cereal would it take to equal the fiber content of just one bowl of Colon Blow? Hint: It's not 2. It's not 3. And it's not 9. Bigger Hint: It's enough to make Phil Hartman...

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Halo Top Eat-the-Whole-Pint Healthy Ice Cream

$5.99 from Halo Top »

This is the Halo Top pitch: 240 to 280 calories per pint, and it more than doesn't suck. In fact, get a jar of PB2, mix some of that powdery peanut butter goodness into a personal vat of Halo Top Chocolate, and you won't...

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Scoop & Stack Ice Cream Scoop

$14.95 - $23.99 from Amazon »

Pssst, here's the scoop: it's a cylinder. Madness! Madness! you say....

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Ice Cream Sandwich Bench

$950 from Jellio »

To quote Freddie Mercury, "Is this real life? Or is it just fantasy?" Let's see...well, according to the $950 subtotal in my Jellio shopping cart, it is real life. Oh boy! Real life now has furniture that looks like ice...

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Supersized Ice Pop Bags

$14.95 from Amazon »

Who wants some genetically modified Fla-Vor-Ice? You know, push popsicles raised in a freezer that treats its snacks with growth hormones. Yeah, OK, fine. They're just supersized because their fruit juice/yogurt/smoothie...

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La Salamandra Argentinian Dulce de Leche

Sold Out from Amazon »

Amongst all the cows Argentina is known for converting to internationally-renowned ribs and steaks there must be a few they keep around and milk for converting into what is apparently also internationally-renowned dulce...

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Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Lock

$35.95 from Amazon »

Three things. One: I subscribe to the unwavering dogma that ice cream is mankind's greatest culinary invention. Two: I don't share food. Three: Avengers and iProducts be damned. Ben & Jerry's pint lock is the most anticipated...

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Swirlio Frozen Fruit Dessert Maker

$39.01 from Amazon »

Big Boss Swirlio. Damn. A frozen fruit dessert machine came up with that name before I did. He's not even intimidating or dressed in a floor-length ferret fur coat. I bet the ladies love Big Boss Swirlio though. They'll...

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Thermo-ring Heated Ice Cream Scoop

$19.95 from Amazon »

Don't you consider breaking a sweat and popping a blood vessel in your arm part of the ice cream scooping experience? So that 35 minutes later, when you're finally able to sit down and eat your bowl of Moose Tracks, you...