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Retro Candy Gift Boxes

By: on December 18, 2012
$17.65 - $26.77
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Almost as interesting as it will be to watch the effects of my grandpa ingesting 4 pounds of processed sugar a la Slo Pokes, Red Hots, and Chuckles on Christmas morning is noting that, of the wax-wrapped candy treats contained in the 1940s nostalgia pack, those three have withstood the test of time and can still probably be bought at my neighborhood Walgreens. Which is particularly surprising when it comes to Chuckles, because Chuckles are gross.

Retro Candy Gift Boxes from the 40s through the 90s (really? The 90s are "retro" now? Crap.) each contain around 30 different candies demonstrative of their respective era that will help the recipient relive childhood memories through a high-fructose-corn-syrup-induced spirit journey. Baby Boomers, how about a few Candy Buttons and a mouthful of Moon Pie? Mad Men fanatics and primetime members of the tumultuous 60s, take yourselves back just to the good times with a box of Good & Plenty, some Necco Wafers, and a wad of Gold Mine Nugget Bubble Gum. Braless, hairy hippies of the 70s rejoice and reminisce in the days of masking your body odor with Appleheads and Cherry Zotz. 80s kiddos, open up for a sprinkling of Nerds and brace for an Atomic Fireball (now available in delicious Whisky for our grownup versions). And children of the 90s, who are still basically children, have at your Air Heads, Sour Patch Kids, and Push Pops.

You already know it, but suggested via Dude Product Tips by Manny.

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Chocolate Candy Bar Maker

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Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, hide yo' husband! No one's getting their hands on the Chocolate Candy Bar Maker but me! Chocolate's loyal, and gluttonous, and selfish little whore slave. No, redact that redaction. Whore!...

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Elbow Cassette Tape Player

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Elbow recently completed a market test survey on their low-tech, ultra-portable concept that will revolutionize the way you play...uh...mix tapes. A clip-on arm with a pulley system, the Elbow cassette tape player spools...

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Retro Thick Brick Cell Phone

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I smell a gift for the grad comin' in hot! Giving an LBER KR999 classic thick brick cell phone to young whippersnappers is like giving them a piece of history to take with them into the future. It's a reminder of where...

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Playable PONG Coffee Table

$990 - $1,290 from Table PONG Project »

The Atari PONG Table isn't the first example we've seen of an element of the gaming world transformed into a coffee table...that's still fully functional as an element in the gaming world. Remember this Nintendo controller...

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26-Pound Gummy Python

$149.99 from Vat 19 »

Oh look, a snake that can kill you without biting, constricting, or even being alive. At 84" long, 26.9 pounds, and a staggering 36,720 calories, the Gummy Python will inflict anything from hyperglycemia to ruptured intestines...

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Han Solo Carbonite Chocolate Bar

$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term...

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Bulk Single Flavor Candy

$10.99 - $50.98 from Amazon »

Mama! I said I only want the Cherry Starburst! Only the Cherries! Ahhh, just remembering the days when my mama had to toil over picking out all the good Starburst, Skittles, and Tootsie Pop flavors for me. The days before...

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Adult Hippity Hop Animal Balls

$49.99 - $59.98 from Amazon »

If my girlfriend agreed to Hippity Hop down the aisle on an Anna the Magical Unicorn Ball I might agree to propose to her. Haha, yeah you're right. No I wouldn't. That was a bad example. How about: if my co-workers agreed...

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Dry Brew Coffee Chews

$17.99 from Amazon »

Dry Brew Coffee Chews are for those of us who can't tear ourselves away from the computer--or the Xbox--long enough to get our 3:00 cups o' pick-me-up. And those, such as runners and bikers, who don't have the space or...

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10-Pound Toblerone Bar

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Toblerone has built 45, 100-gram servings into their 10-pound mountain range of chocolate, honey, and almond nougat. That's:...

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75 Years Of DC Comics

$120 - $340.33 from Amazon »

75 Years Of DC Comics is the kind of Batman v. Superman Ben Affleck and Henry Cavill could only dream of making. This collector's book archives rare images and artwork from the major Ages of DC's history into a high-end...

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Japanese Kit Kat Bars

$0.92 - $29.99 from Amazon »

Why are green Kit Kats so mesmerizing? Because they look like Zombie Kit Kats? Their flavor is Maccha Green Tea, so they can't possibly taste like anything resembling good, yet they have been flying off the virtual shelves...