TheraGun Muscle Massager
The TheraGun muscle massager might be the non-human massager to end all massagers. In fact, I'd bet a crisp Abe Lincoln it could give most human proffesionals a run for their money too. Tension and pain relief, increased blood flow, relaxation...well. Maybe relaxation isn't at the top of the list of benefits you'll receive during TheraGun use.
Check out the video above starting at 0:17. The therapist administering a dose of TheraGun to some dude's (lady's?) calf. Yikes. Talk about an unappealing application of the term, Bouncy, bouncy.
And speaking of things that make you want to have sex, despite the TheraGun's use of the word "massager" in its description, I wouldn't recommend using it in the same way you would one of those other "multi-purpose" massagers, like the Hitachi Magic Wand or the Wanachi Mega Massager.
For athletes, or anyone with seriously jacked up and tight muscles, the TheraGun is a professional-grade tool for increasing blood flow, decreasing lactic acid buildup, and cutting off the pain cycle that typically follows intense workouts or activity. It operates with a rechargeable li-ion battery, and includes 1 x ball and 1 x cone attachment, you can switch out based on your preferred shape of TheraGun torture.