196

Doom Hero Rifle

By: on February 27, 2013
$1,950
Check It Out

Here's something awesome I did yesterday: drove to the coffee shop, parked my car in the garage underneath, regaled you with a small handful of product descriptions, and then walked home. Boy was I surprised a couple hours later when I went outside fixin' to take the Mazda for ice cream. The moral of the story is, people with only half a brain should not be trusted with guns. That's why I don't own one, and why I believe everyone who applies for a license should be subjected to standardized testing of rational thinking skills and common sense. Also hand-eye coordination and swagger. Prop replica guns, though...I guess any asshole can go ahead and buy those. This asshole, for one, has his eye on the Hero Rifle Karl Urban's* Reaper used in Doom.

Creator Kingpin often applies the "Museum Quality" designation to his creations, which, to quote the great Viper, "is pretty arrogant, considering the company you're in." But a close examination of the Hero Rifle, plus quick once overs of his Aliens M41A Pulse Rifle and Judge Dredd Lawgiver, suggest his confidence may be justified. That we may be looking at the Maverick of the movie prop replica industry. Hopefully Kingpin doesn't have a wingman. I can't handle any accidental deaths or crises of conscience in this story. I already had to stomach Goose biting it in 3D last month.

What I do need is a precisely molded twin of the exterminator Reaper unleashed on Doom humanoids and zombies. Working trigger pull selector switches. A magazine release, scope, kill cam, steel barrel, LED counter screen matching, operational flashlight with pressure switch. Fully-functional Airsoft firing capabilities. I need an ego writing checks its body can't cash. And preferably a hot lead actress who doesn't come out as a lesbian 20 years later.

The Hero Rifle's heft holds strong with all metal screws--no glue here--and Kingpin treated its exterior with a custom weathered paint job. At first I accidentally wrote "pain job" instead of "paint job". I bet both are accurate.

*Karl Urban is 6'1". Legitimate badass sci-fi superhero height. Unlike Robert Shorty Jr., Harry Shorter, and Sylittlevester Stallone. Check out the Hollywood actor height chart for a look at more big screen behemoths who can barely reach the top shelf Scotch they drink.

Check it out

Portable Survival Rifle

$290 - $350 from Henry Repeating Arms »

"Don't leave civilization without one." It's the motto of the US Survival AR-7, a semi-automatic portable rifle that weighs a mere 3-1/2 pounds and measures in at 16-1/2" long when broken down and stowed in its waterproof...

Check it out

Aliens M41A Pulse Rifle - Fully Functional

$1,999 from Bonanza »

You look at the replica M41A Pulse Rifle from Aliens, its fully adjustable metal stock and removable magazine, and wonder, Is it real? It looks real. It's the right shape. It's...huge...definitely the right size. It moves...

Check it out

Giant Batman Batarang

$199.99 from ThinkGeek »

A 4-foot Batman Batarang. I wonder if you could hang glide on that thing. I wonder if it would make a good frisbee. Or, at 4-1/2 pounds, a good World's Strongest Man chucking event....

Check it out

The World's First Smart Rifle

$22,500 - $27,500 from TrackingPoint »

Taking top honors in the category of Yo That's Crazy and Moderately Disturbing but I Guess It Was Gonna Happen Sometime: TrackingPoint's PGF. Precision. Guided. Firearm. It's fighter-jet-style, lock-and-launch technology...

Check it out

The TAC-SAC Rail Accessory

$39.99 from Tac Sac »

Last time me and my friend Cornelius played paintball he kept getting nailed and hiding and whining like a little goat until finally everyone was like, Dude, you need to grow a pair! And he was all, Dude! It's not me...

Check it out

Crosman Pioneer Airbow

$849 from Crosman »

If you're a big game hunter living in Arizona*, you are Crosman Golden. It's the only state in the US where there's a season for pursuing just about every species of big game on the Crosman docket with the company's forthcoming...

Check it out

World's Smallest Pistol

$72 from Singulier »

Austrian company Gerhard Göbharter GmbH has been manufacturing the Berloque, World's (Probably) Smallest Pistol, in its infinite practicality and cuteness since 1905. Approximately 124 steps and 15 individual parts come...

Check it out

The Can Cannon Soda Can Launcher

$398.95 from XProducts »

Big & Rich recommend ladies save a horse, ride a cowboy, and the Can Cannon recommends cowboys save a bullet, fire a shook-up sodie can....

Check it out

Life-Size Alien Head

$1,799.99 from Sideshow Collectibles »

When the staff at the H.R. Giger Museum in Switzerland saw this life-size replica head of the monstrous Alien their namesake created you could literally see the pride and joy bursting from their chests. (Good luck to...

Check it out

SAR12 Paintball Sniper Rifle

Excuse me, sirs of Carmatech Engineering, but are you sure this so-called paintball sniper rifle shoots only balls of paint, and not balls of, like, lead? Oh, is that so? Yeah, OK, that makes sense. The SAR12 Sniper shoots...

Check it out

Daft Punk Helmet Replica

This is just one of many amazing DIY projects undertaken by Harrison Krix, and documented on his personal blog. If you think these photos are cool, check out his detailed explanation of them, as well as his nifty time...

Buy Now

Gamo Whisper Fusion Pro Air Rifle

Sold Out from Amazon »

One of my mama's favorite pastimes is going into the backyard and shooting the pigeons off her roof so they stop "crapping all over everything and making that awful cooing noise." Usually she just uses a BB gun to do...