76

War of 1812 Chess Set

By: on May 01, 2012
$4,200
from
Check It Out

We can all appreciate the creative skill, labor, and craftsmanship Jim Arnold poured into his elaborate, entirely hand-carved War of 1812 Chess set. But those of you out there who actually know what the War of 1812 is, and which parties fought in it, and in what year it took place? This immaculate representation of intellectual prowess is your Excalibur. Your mint condition Model T.Your Tron Light Cycle. Your interstellar life-coaching session with Yoda.

Carved from solid walnut and maple, the chess board alone weighs 50 pounds, and spans 36 square inches. Atop the quadrilateral map of cunning is a museum-quality miniature re-enactment of the United States' first victory at sea.A 34" long USS Constitution throws down against the Brits' similarly-sized Guerriere, with captains subbing for kings, lieutenants for queens, mid-shipmen for bishops, gunners' mates for knights, cannon balls for rooks, and deck side cannons for pawns. All personified pieces don authentic representations of period uniforms.

The set's intricacy and magnificence achieve an even higher level of awesome with the reiteration that no dremmels, duplicators, pantographs, foredoms, or similar persuasions of carving machinery were harmed, torn down, exploited, manipulated, bullied, stolen from indigenous peoples, persuaded under the influence of alcohol, made to feel inadequate, or otherwise shat on in the making of the War of 1812 Chess Set. The board, its "24-pounder" cannons, ships, and pieces were wittled by Arnold's own hand into this laudible and unparalleled display of patriotism and historical ass-kicking.

Buy Now

Shocktato Party Game

$34.99 from Amazon »

Shocktato is a party game from the same people who made Lightning Reaction Reloaded, which is my all-time favorite party game to play with people who are slower than I am. As you've probably guessed, their new combination...

Buy Now

Boob Cube

$9.50 from Amazon »

The Boob Cube is for idiots. And for geniuses. And for idiots who want to convince people they're really geniuses. And for geniuses you want to make feel like idiots. So, yeah, pretty much an ideal gift for any person...

Check it out

Porn: The Game!

$19.99 from Porn the Game »

One time I read a book willingly and it was called The Average American Male. The entirety of its plot basically consisted of the narrator thinking about what it would be like to have dirty sex with every woman he saw...

Check it out

The Espire Gas Mask

Carlos Schreib created the Espire respirator for professional varnishers and chemical engineers who don't want to work with a heavy filter over their mouth or walk around the office looking like an evil steampunk doktor....

Buy Now

Drunk Stoned or Stupid

$16 from Amazon »

Usually the only people I credit for being clever, relevant, and hilarious are myself and sometimes Stephen Colbert, but the cards of party game Drunk Stoned or Stupid demonstrate there might be a few others out there...

Buy Now

Exploding Kittens Card Game - NSFW Edition

$19.99 from Amazon »

Unlike run-of-the-mill kitten explosions, Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition contains content that is not suitable for your workplace or children. And even though no one seems to be saying it, I'm guessing a card game featuring...

Check it out

What Do You Meme? Game

Elliot Tebele, overlord of the famed Instagram account Fuckjerry, has made a pretty natural transition with What Do You Meme? His images and commentary translate seamlessly from work day slacking reading material on the...

Check it out

Breaking Bad Methopoly

Discontinued

Joanne Silverman loves meth. Just kidding. She loves Breaking Bad. I mean, I guess she might love meth too, but probably not because if she did it is unlikely she would have the wherewithal to conceive and create this...

Check it out

Lewd and Obscene Party Game

$24.99 from Lewd and Obscene »

Lewd and Obscene, according to creator Anthony Annese, is what would happen "if Urban Dictionary and Balderdash had a one night stand and the condom broke." Testament #1 to the validity of that statement: mentally rotate...

Buy Now

Cards Against Humanity - A Vicious Party Game

$25 from Amazon »

Cards Against Humanity is basically a more blatantly raunchy and politically incorrect version of the game Apples to Apples. And Apples to Apples is basically an evolution of Mad Libs that better lends itself to large...

Check it out

Batman Chess Set

Of course the Batman Chess Set costs nearly $800. The Dark Knight is a fancy superhero. The fanciest superhero of all, I would say. And check out how dashing he looks in fine pewter and diecast metal. Villains the Joker...

Buy Now

The PuttSkee - Skee Ball Golf

$499 from Amazon »

And the PuttSkee skee ball-golf hybrid even folds up into an oversized luggage / encyclopedia salesman-style rolling crate so you can hold tournaments next to the keg on Fridays at the office, turn it into a drinking...