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Risk: Game of Thrones Edition

By: on July 25, 2015
$58.14
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Just when I thought the suspense couldn't get any worse...or the wait any longer...than it is just watching the kings, avengers, enterprisers, and power hungry on Game of Thrones the series fight to control Westeros. Now Risk has released its own GoT edition in a move to add at least another 3 hours of battle, bloodshed, and gratuitous nudity to any night I unfold its board. Which is still a more immediate payoff than the series: start by 8 p.m. and know who's landed the Iron Throne by midnight.

Risk: Game of Thrones follows the same basic rules as the original, with a new pair of boards and 3 different ways to play. On one board is Westeros and a version for 3 to 5 players to assume factions of noble Houses and vie for the Iron Throne during the time of The War of the Five Kings. On the other board lies Essos and an opportunity for 2 players to play along with Daenerys Targaryen's rise to power, contesting the rule of Ghiscari slavers. Combine both maps for a 7-player war incorporating all 7 Houses.

Version Game of Thrones has more than 650 pieces (one for each character Martin has introduced?) Each of the 7 Houses has armies of 45 pieces each to cover the first 315. Then there are character cards, silver-foil stamps of House sigils, gold dragon coins, maester cards, and quest cards to round out the second half of things that are probably going to get lost or stolen by your friend Cornelius after the first game.

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Geeky Sex Toys (NSFW)

$25 - $199 from Etsy »

Now that Pokemon have made you Go, Geeky Sex Toys thinks it's time you catch some that will make you Come. Yep, the enterprising Australian adult shop went there, and now has a (limited edition) set of Pokemoan dildos...

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Sword Keys

$11.99 from The Key Armory »

It's dangerous to leave the house without a key! Take this set that will also serve as your sword and shield if the gangs...of ants...attack. The Key Armory stocks up fantasy and gaming fans' keychains with iconic swords...

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The Game of Thrones Collection

$40 - $110 from Black Milk Clothing »

The start of Season 4 may still be a few weeks away, but Black Milk's Game of Thrones clothing collection drops in mere hours. Houses Stark, Lannister, Targaryen, and Baratheon represent in an array of nakedness shields...

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Prosthetic Dragon Spikes

$375 from Etsy »

Is there a word for when something is equal parts disturbing and smokin' hot? That's what I'd like to call the image of this lady wearing Dragon Spikes. Their mutant effect is remarkable, somewhere between mythical miracle...

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Game of Thrones Clue

$40.48 from Amazon »

Remember that one time ThinkGeek released a Game of Thrones edition Clue? It had 69,120 possible suspect / location / weapon combinations* spread over 48 suspects, 30 locations, and 48 weapons! That was awesome! But then...

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Le Loup Multi-Tool

$15.21 - $45.62 from N-Product »

Here's why I'm showing you yet another multi-tool: because one look at the Le Loup Multi-Tool reminds me that winter...is here. Which! Means that summer...is coming. And in 2017, summer brings the premiere of Game of...

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Hatching Dragon Candle

$44.09 from Firebox.com »

We've always known that out of the dragon's mouth comes the fire. Now, thanks to a particularly acid-washed, acid-tongued Mother, we also know it's possible that out of the fire's mouth come the dragons. So here's a candle...

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White Walker Mask

$994.95 from Composite Effects »

White Walkers are creepy, dude. Creepy enough that I think I'd rather look like one than at one. But I'd most rather look like Khal Drogo because then all men would still be scared of me, and all ladies would quiver in...

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Ice, Sword of Eddard Stark

$270 from Valyrian Steel »

Though it ultimately couldn't keep Ned Stark's head affixed to his body, the Valyrian steel sword Ice did serve his majesty of Winterfell well. And, should you be one of the lucky keepers of the North to grasp the formidable...

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Game of Thrones Chocolate Dragon Egg

I tried one of Truffle Cottage's Game of Thrones Chocolate Dragon Eggs last night. And if by "tried" you think I mean "demolished," then you are correct, sir! I think She-Ra: Princess of Power ate a couple from the stash...

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Carps & Angsty Manatee

$14.95 from Amazon »

I don't know if Carps & Angsty Manatee is the best unofficial expansion set for Cards Against Humanity, but having played with it last weekend, I can attest to its being a damn good one. It's also a loaded deck, with...

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Game of Thrones Clue

Discontinued

Welp, it shouldn't be hard to find someone to play the murder victim in this rendition of my favorite board game. What will be hard about playing Game of Thrones Clue: uh, playing Game of Thrones Clue. It's like taking...