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Go F*ck! - Go Fish for Adults (NSFW)

By: on February 03, 2016
$7.70
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I never was much of a Go Fisher. Unlike War, it just had too many rules to keep track of so I always lost. The same will probably happen with Go F*ck, the "adult" version of the kiddie card game, but I get the sense that here, even when I lose, I'm gonna win.

Go F*ck follows the same protocols as Go Fish; try to get 4 (sex positions) of a kind, go round-robbin asking if anyone has a Pearl Diving or Saddled Swan, and at the end play, turn your collected cards into the rest of the evening's entertainment.

The Go F*ck deck includes 52 game cards depicting 13 unique sex positions, plus 2 rule cards describing play not only for Go F*ck, but also Crazy 69s (Crazy 8s all sexed up) and Sex Snap (Snap with the word "sex" added before it). And if you're more in the mood for what the cards describe than an actual game of cards, go for 52 Sexup: throw the stack in the air, and then replicate each position as you gather them back up.

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Luxury Mile High Club Experience

$7,750 from Wish.co.uk »

Don't just simulate them in a Jet Bed, realize your aero-fantasies with the Luxury Mile High Club Experience. Wish.co.uk, peddlers of myriad activities intended to prevent life and its inhabitants from becoming boring...

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Boregasm Pills

Good thing yawns and O faces look about the same because, thanks to research being conducted by a handful of (presumably exhausted and horny) PhD students at Indiana University's The Kinsey Institute, they're about to...

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Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

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Japanese Electric Piston Masturbator (NSFW)

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Note: The Japanese electric piston masturbator's NSFW designation serves not so much as a reminder that this device is not suitable to view at work as it does a reminder that it is not suitable to use at work. I found...

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LaunchPAD - Fleshlight iPad Case (NSFW)

$29.95 from Fleshlight »

Though it's not electric or piston-powered...or Japanese...like this friendly sex toy, the LaunchPAD does employ advanced technology in a valiant effort to enhance Man's alone time. The makers of male masturbatory aid...

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The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas (NSFW)

$11.95 from Amazon »

Is further product description really needed? First there was Georgia O'Keefe, now there is author and illustrator Morgan Hastings. Black-and-white outlines of anatomical wonders beg for your acrylic and Crayola technicolor...

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Sex Positions You Never Thought Possible (NSFW)

$49.98 from Amazon »

Remember that one time you let some chick drag you to hot yoga because she too was hot and you wanted to see her do bendy things in spandex pants, but then you ended up spending the whole class lying on your back trying...

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Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets

Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...

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Vibrating Bicycle Seat

$43 from SexShop 365 »

A heads up to politicians and city planners: stop wasting your money on bike lanes, tax incentives, and PSA campaigns. All you need do to persuade your constituents to trade in cars for bicycles on their morning commute...

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Paco's Taco Stroker

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At first I was like, Who the h-e-double-boner named this kitchen tool "Paco's Taco Stroker?" I'm going to make so many masturbation jokes when I write about it. And then I looked closer and was like, Holy hard-on! They...

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The Pop-up Book of Sex (NSFW)

$117.53 from Amazon »

It's a good thing The Pop-up Book of Sex came to us (hard, I hear) over 10 years ago because the decade in between gave YouTubers plenty of time to put together a detailed video flip-through of every single one of the...

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Little Rooster Alarm Clock Vibrator

$89 from Amazon »

Oh (face) no, the rooster's crowing (buzzing) already?! Come (yes, please) on! Do I really have to get up (off)? I hear you, ladies. It's a brutal world of mornings, alarms, and orgasms we live in. I'll keep my fingers...