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Brainwave-Controlled Jedi Trainer

By: on January 18, 2012
$131
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Do you believe in the power of the human mind? If you said yes, and you are not a Buddhist monk, yogi master, hypnotist, or cult leader, you probably also believe in The Force. But while belief in The Force is one thing, mastery of The Force is another. Is your neurological focus, command, and self-actualization at Lucas-worthy levels? With The Force Trainer, you can both test your current mental prowess, and work to improve it.

The Force Trainer's cordless headset is fitted with dry EEG sensors that detect and interpret its wearer's brainwaves, and then project them to the training tower, moving the sphere up or down according to intensity of focus and mastery of The Force. Advancement through 15 levels of training, from Padawan to Jedi Master, will keep everyone in your family enthralled for--fingers crossed--as long as it takes scientists unlock the power of telomeres, and reverse-age Harrison Ford to his Han Solo glory days, so he can do the next Star Wars installment without the aid of a walker and Shia LaBoeuf.

Constant feedback from Yoda, such as, "Reach out with your feelings! Use the Force. Do or do not, there is no try," either encourages focus, and helps the user along; or exacerbates the inability to focus, accelerates frustration, extracts colorful language, and turns the Force Trainer into a compelling spectator sport.

Bonus: The Force Trainer originally sold for $129.99, but post-holiday markdowns--or users who have achieved Jedi Master status--have lowered the price to under $40.

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Luke Skywalker's Landspeeder

$499.99 from Radio Flyer »

My Episode IV A New Hope is that Luke Skywalker's Landspeeder hears the collective wail of all adult Star Wars fans and comes out with pre-order information for a second model of the replica X-34. One that supports weights...

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Power Reels Constant Resistance Fitness Tool

$49.99 - $69.99 from Amazon »

Don't get too excited, fishermen. Power Reels might help you build the strength to pull in the big one, but these dumbbell-resistance band hybrids are all about self-imposed, not catch-imposed, sweat, burn, and grunt....

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$199 - $249 from Axon »

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$199.99 from Amazon »

Well, telekinetic is only part of the story. Is telemusculokinetic a word too? Maybe that's redundant. Remote control muscles? Yeah, let's go with RC muscles. MYO armbands transform muscles--specifically the arm, or as...

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$14.61 - $26.79 from The Fowndry »

A stormtrooper who's packing nothing but Jameson and a Buttery Nipple is my kind of stormtrooper. I bet in whiskey decanter and suspended glass forms they're even a decent shot. At least until round 7 or 8 when your own...

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Python Skin Death Trooper Helmet

$3k from ELEMNT »

I think this python skin Death Trooper Helmet solidifies maker ELEMNT's position on Team Dark Side. Their first snaked-out Star Wars replica payed homage to Darth Vader, and was shaped around one of the 1,200 collector's...

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Millennium Falcon Asteroid Coffee Table

$6,499 from Regal Robot »

The only thing this Millennium Falcon Asteroid Coffee Table is missing is my feet. As Han Solo and Chewie expertly maneuver their ship through an asteroid field to evade Vader and his fleet, I relax with a Bud Light Lime...

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Star Wars Adult Onesies

$64.45 from Amazon »

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all...

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Eidos Superhuman Senses Gear

To determine whether or not Eidos has grounds to call itself "superhuman" I forced the gear to undergo rigorous, yet fair, questioning and testing....

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The Darth Knight

$1,500 from Ebay »

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

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Boba Fett Edition Nerf Rival Apollo XV-700

$89.99 from GameStop »

Hold on to your fantasies of Nerf-blasting your friend Cornelius in the junk like a Mandalorian warrior at the beach this summer. This Boba Fett edition Rival Apollo XV-700 won't ship until November 2017 (just in time...

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Boba Fett Motorcycle Helmet

Unlike a few selections in this slideshow of sick motorcycle helmets, you can probably wear HJC's new RPHA 11 Boba Fett helmet without getting laughed off the road (it's an obvious, but not over-the-top Star Wars circus...