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Cyber Armor

By: on October 01, 2013
$175 - $695
from
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Buckle up, boys, it's October 1. The onslaught of sexy Halloween costumes is revving its 400-asspower engine. Segue into the spectacle with a looksee at Spanish designer Boyd Baten's cyber armor. No, wait, I mean Boyd Baten's sexy cyber armor.

Pieces ranging from corsets and gauntlets to a wicked mohawk warrior headpiece and an arm spine are each sold separately, and carry prices commensurate with the amount of time and detail Baten puts into hand sewing and shaping the futuristic PVC creations.

Ladies planning to rock Halloween as 25th-century vanquishers of evil...or Lady Gaga...you're welcome for finding your costume. The rest--locating a sugar daddy to buy it for you, and the best light for taking the photos you'll email me of you wearing it--is up to you.

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Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

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AdrenaSuit - Bulletproof & Superpowered

The fit is hitting the shan. The adrenaline dam has busted, and your fight-or-flight response is sprinting at a world-record-setting pace. What does it look like? Are you stepping up? Freezing up? Freaking out? Peacing...

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Cat Battle Armor

$500 - $520 from Etsy »

Quick, someone get this cat a lance! He's scheduled to joust one of the guinea pigs from G-Force at high noon and only just finished his battle armor fitting. I don't know if he's ready for this. The pigs have been training...

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

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Biomechanical Spinal Armor

$750 from Etsy »

JP Rishea of Bionic Concepts has created a bit of a name for himself in the cyber/steampunk gadgetry world. From his exo-gauntlet to his gas-powered LED wings, Rishea's designs always emerge as strangely tasty meals for...

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FORTIS Exoskeleton

Get a FORTIS exoskeleton and you'll instantly have: 1) superhero strength; and 2) a superhero costume. Two birds, one stone. Like Iron Man. Lockheed Martin is developing this unpowered, lightweight external structure...

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Knight XV Fully Armored SUV

Conquest purports to marry "ultra-luxurious" with "fully-armored" in its forthcoming handcrafted SUV, the Knight XV. Historically, this type of marriage has not ended well (see: the reigns of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette;...

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Handmade Guinea Pig Armor

$24,300 from Ebay »

I had a guinea pig as a young boy. I named him Ruffles because he and I both were somewhat effeminate. They didn't make polished steel scale outfits for guinea pigs back then. And I have to admit, taking in this majestic...

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Medieval Knight Hoodie

Discontinued

See, chivalry isn't dead. It's just been co-opted by the hoodie-wearing hipster crowd. This Medieval Knight Hoodie drips of irony akin to permutations of the mustache, and trending fads akin to bacon two years ago. Thanks...

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Dyson Cyclone Belt Coffee Machine

Dyson keeps your life clean, cool, and now--if Jaehyo Lee's concept for a coffee maker comes to percolation--caffeinated. The Dyson Cyclone Belt Coffee Machine repurposes the technology of Dyson's vacuum cleaners and...

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Star Trek: TOS Bluetooth Communicator

$149.99 from ThinkGeek »

In the original Star Trek series, the communicator was a super long-range walkie-talkie Starfleet ships used to message between or within each other. Over time, it became an artifact of the future as seen through the...

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Exo-Gauntlet - CO2 Powered Exoskeleton

$3,300 from Bionic Concepts »

JP Rishea masterminds a legion of sick conglomerations of metal and power, but the Exo-Gauntlet is probably his most irrationally needful of them all. I guess one could technically argue that it has a few practical applications...