31

The WWE Encyclopedia

By: on June 16, 2013
$49.99
Check It Out

I gained a new respect for the "fake" sport of WWF* wrestling after seeing that horribly depressing movie The Wrestler with Mickey Rourke and watching those guys move through the ranks by pulling moves like body slamming one another on piles of thumbtacks. Owwwwwch! I almost pass out when my mama has to use a needle to remove a splinter from my finger. These vaudevillian matches may be choreographed, and their winners pre-determined, but the pain their wrestlers experience is real, man. The pain is real.

This updated and expanded WWE Encyclopedia swells, contorts, and oozes with more than a thousand wrestling superstars chokeslammed and F-5'd across 400 full-color pages. It pays respect to the dawn of the showiest of all shows, including the early fighters of the 1960s, and travels through the next 5 decades, up to spotlights of today's superstars. As one Amazon reviewer points out:

I give this book a 5 star rating because it deserves it. It allowed me to interact with our children by showing them wrestlers of my generation and reading facts about theirs. I showed my parents and they were amazed that this book contained people they knew. Definitely a conversational piece.

See, the WWE Encyclopedia: bringing the generations together through controlled violence, neon spandex, women in bikinis, and fake tans.

*Even though we are more than a decade into the change, nostalgia and stubbornness prohibit me from partaking in this WWE executive re-imaging due to World Wildlife Fund copyright infringement bullshit. However, I do approve of the Federation's decision to use an ad campaign entitled "Get the F out" to announce its decision to make the change.

Buy Now

Boxaball Boxing Speed Training Ball

Sold Out from Amazon »

How to use the Boxaball to elevate your boxing skills? Easy. If you want to increase your speed and shorten your reaction time, all you gotta do is wrap the ball's adjustable headband around your head and "start punching...

Buy Now

Luchadores Thumb Wrestling Thumb Covers

Sold Out from Amazon »

Choose your luchador champion and get your wrestlin' thumb ready because, Uno, dos, tres, quatro! Quien declara una guerra de pulgares? Yo!...

Check it out

Quiet Punch Doorway Boxing Bag

$119 - $125.99 from Quiet Punch »

Quiet Punch, a square of spring-mounted heavy bag that installs in a doorway, was designed for fighters looking to train outside the gym. But now that the punch buddy is available for pre-order, I think it might set up...

Check it out

Conor McGregor F*ck You Pinstripe Suit

$6,500 from David August »

I don't know how long the rest of the world will remember the Conor McGregor vs. Floyd Mayweather fight after it's over, but anyone who drops $6,500 on a David August Fuck You pinstripe suit like the one McGregor wore...

Buy Now

Random Illustrated Facts

$10.23 from Amazon »

Random Illustrated Facts isn't just a book of trivia. Mike Lowery's Collection of Curious, Weird, and Totally Not Boring Things to Know is a book of trivia with pictures! Four gatefolds and hundreds of infographics' worth!...

Check it out

TigerLady Self-Defense Claw

$29 from TigerLady »

Remember that old Secret deodorant commercial? Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? I'd put TigerLady in that same category. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman...to slash, gouge, and rip apart any...

Check it out

King of the Ring Fitness Arcade Game

Nexersys calls their King of the Ring arcade game a "virtual fighting ring" but one look at all those full-contact pads and the surrounding cage and I am 95% sure that I would sustain non-virtual injuries while using...

Buy Now

Bulk Wrestling Jello

Sold Out from Amazon »

I was just thinking the other day that I could stand for a good round of co-ed jello wrestling. But when I started doing the calculations to figure out how many boxes of gelatin-forming strawberry granules I'd need to...

Check it out

Mucha Liga Tequila

Mucha Liga has made a tag team trio of lucha libre-themed tequilas, and in so doing has also made a fantasy many of us never even knew we had come true. Which mask will you wear ('til you puke 'n' pass out) during your...

Buy Now

Star Wars Lightsaber Thumb Wrestling

$10.29 from Amazon »

How do you declare a thumb war in Wookieespeak? Yeah, that's right, 1, 2, 3, Raaawwwrrr! Time to suit up, buckle down, and probably tie one on, Cornelius, because I challenge you to a lightsaber duel. From the knuckles...

Buy Now

Batman v. Superman Rock Em Sock Em Robots

$18.88 from Amazon »

I don't know why these two kids can't just get along. Buuuuut...since they can't...let's help them beat the crap out of each other. Some enterprising entity has created a duo of Rock Em Sock Em Robots to complement the...

Buy Now

Grunt: The Curious Science of Humans at War

$16.49 from Amazon »

Mary Roach, who the Washington Post calls "America's funniest science writer" has written a series of curious books. Literally. Maybe you remember Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex? Or <a rel="nofollow"...