159

The Art of Fixing Things

By: on March 13, 2013
$10.36
Check It Out

The Art of Fixing Things. That's some euphemistic phrasing right there. Probably coined by a woman for other women to use in manipulating husbands, boyfriends, male buddies, and random dudes at the gym who appear to be able to bench more than the average couch weighs into doing chores and DIY projects for them. "Oh no, spending your entire Sunday afternoon dicking around with my leaking dishwasher and misfiring spark plugs isn't a tedious waste of time...it's an art." Next thing you know they're going to call changing lightbulbs "illuminative explorations" and refuse to perform even the simplest of home maintenance tasks. I say we nip this problem in the bud right now, before it spirals out of control. The Art of Fixing Things should be added to the banned books list. Right up at the top with, like, Lolita and Naked Lunch. Sex, drugs, and females suckering males into doing handy work: we as a society must disallow the advocacy of such profanity.

What, you like doing projects? Alright then, Daddy-O, The Art of Fixing Things will guide you through repairing all reparable facets of your life--from cars to household appliances, and garden machines to farm equipment. Home improvement how-tos are also included. The manual is, and I quote, "...a resource for smart people who have never had the opportunity to learn the basics of tool use, maintenance, and repairs." Does that statement sound funny to anyone else? It's like The Art of Fixing Things makes handyman jobs accessible to everyone...oh, except the ruhtards. Ruhtards need not apply.

If you do not fall into the ruhtard category, first confirm this fact with at least 5 other people, and then dig in to the guide's 150 tips and tricks for household domination.

Buy Now

Bernzomatic High Intensity Trigger Start Torch

$39.97 from Amazon »

Oh it Bernz! It Bernzomatic! says the jalapeno. But as the hottest burning torch in the Bernzomatic line, this high intensity torch head not only delivers the perfect char to your peppers, it serves them right. Gives...

Check it out

Origami Pocket Knife

$480 from Bre & Co. »

You won't be able to fold the Origami Pocket Knife into a crane, but you will be able to use Bre & Co.'s 440C stainless blade to slice out the perfect neck and wings from the crane you're struggling to make from origami...

Check it out

Zombie Hammer Survival Tools

$79.95 - $139.95 from Zombie Hammer »

"Zombie Hammer survival tools are designed to last longer than cockroaches." Longer than cockroaches! Now that's a sell. This knuckle dustered cache of apocalyptic weapons must have a collective immune system of steel!...

Check it out

The Cache Belt

$25 - $95 from Wazoo Survival Gear »

Sometimes you need a fishing hook in the middle of Denali. Sometimes you need a bottle opener in the middle of a Monday morning meeting. The Cache Belt can help you out with both lifesavers in both spots. Plus a needle...

Buy Now

Gator Grip Universal Socket Set

$10.88 from Amazon »

The Gator Grip chomps up and spits out all the other sockets in your set. This universal socket houses 54 hardened steel spring pins that expand and contract instantly to fit a broad range of nuts, bolts, and other hardware....

Buy Now

Auto-Guard Razor Blade Scraper

$6.99 - $12.98 from Amazon »

The Auto-Guard Razor Blade Scraper, according to maker Kripto Tools, can assist with at least 66 tedious household tasks. Which is at least 60 more than I can. Designed with an ergonomic handle and retractable blade guard...

Check it out

THOR Hammer Tool Kit

Utilitarian cosplay. How many occasions do you have to use those two words together in a sentence? (And can you say them 5 times fast?) Ever since I got the ix-nay on wearing my "formal and "functional" Mongol armor suit...

Check it out

Stowaway Tools

Klecker Knives adds to its arsenal of handiness, previously populated by the KLAX Multi-Tool Axe Head and kiddo how-to Trigger Knife Kit, with Stowaway Tools. The line of slip-in / slide-out implements pair best with...

Buy Now

BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammers

$36.89 - $136.29 from Amazon »

Though he'll probably stick with Mjolnir for wailing on Loki, if Thor were a construction worker I bet he would use one of Wilton's BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammers. Touted the toughest sledge ever built, BASHes with heads...

Buy Now

Cyfie Multi-functional Grappling Hook

Sold Out from Amazon »

This multi-functional grappling hook can do a lot more than pincer up money for the coin laundry (though, in the style of the Claw Crane arcade game, it can do that too.) The assembly has a magnetic hook that itself can...

Buy Now

Dozuki Z Saw

$27.78 from Amazon »

Seeing Dozuki's "Z" Saw reminds me this dude Franz I used to know always called me "Big Z." I asked him why once, but he pretended he didn't hear the question. I think it's pretty clear now though that there's a new Big...

Check it out

Coolbox Toolbox

$169 from Coolbox »

Hmmm, it appears that a certain cooler has started a trend. And while the Coolbox doesn't have a blender...yet...this so-called "toolbox of the future" does transcend all other toolboxes I've seen in terms of features...