Pat the Zombie Book

Are you prepared to fight for the survival and integrity of family, friends, and the human race in apocalyptic combat with the ambulatory dead? In other words, do you want to buy a 7-piece set of gut-ripping knives and...

Think about those nights you bolt upright in bed, heart racing, salty with cold sweat, awakened from a nightmare just before you meet your final doom. Now think about the rush of relief you feel as you take in the solitude...

Zombies really have taken over the world, huh? Or at least the free market economy. The clever German capitalists who designed this introduction of the omnipresent living dead to the bowling alley made a good move though...

"Zombie Hammer survival tools are designed to last longer than cockroaches." Longer than cockroaches! Now that's a sell. This knuckle dustered cache of apocalyptic weapons must have a collective immune system of steel!...

This is what we call an imperfect synergy. In the battle of the two tackiest, yet most often seen yard decorations (no offense fake plastic deer), it looks as if the gnomes have won. And it was bloody. Zombie gnomes 1...

Am I tired of zombies? Mmm...not really. Am I tired of ominous-looking, exceptionally hand-smithed swords and knives and machetes with blades sharp enough to slice through 24 cans of PBR in one blow (and a few tries)?...

In case of a zombie, vampire, werewolf, or demon emergency take this tiny sledgehammer, break the glass, and prepare to fight for your life. Or run like a girl while tossing Holy Water over your shoulder. In Case Of cabinets...

Blacksmith Stephen Heeney designed and welded this chain link axe himself. He does not recommend using it to chop wood. He recommends using it to hack the ever loving viral entrails and decaying brain matter out of zombies...

As if $80 Jessica Simpson shoes, $14,000 Victoria Beckham handbags, and $50 Adam Levine perfume weren't scary enough, now the mall, just like the bowling alley, has been overtaken by zombies. Your mission: kill them...

Target practice with human targets seems so cruel (although practical since most of the time it's other people that are getting shot). Why not practice drilling holes in things that are already dead and will probably...

when preparing for the inevitable zombie apocalypse the present has no rival in terms of when to prepare. Look people, they're coming. And if you wanna survive, you're gonna need some ammo capable of killing zombies...