Introductory Calculus for Infants
One reviewer notes that Introductory Calculus for Infants reads exactly as advertised, except that it won't teach your baby--or you--how to do calculus. She goes on to opine that all who actually expect a children's book to instill complex mathematical disciplines, and who have expressed ire that it does not, should invest in having the evergreen branch lodged up their asses surgically removed. The surgeons performing the procedure likely do know how to do calculus, and may even be able to use it to explain the extraction process. She concludes that these types of people "are also angry that Dr. Seuss' book Green Eggs and Ham did not actually teach them how to prepare said green eggs and ham." So boom! I call dibs on this lady for Team IN YOUR FACE!
Introductory Calculus for Infants author Omi M. Inouye is a computer programmer and self-described "average math student." She wrote a book about two friends and their adventures in calculus land because she is good enough at math to know that geeks love this sort of schtick, and therefore the derivative of F(x) = $$$.