95

Bionic Bopper Cars

By: on November 29, 2011
  • Bionic Bopper Cars

How many times have you been THIS CLOSE to punching someone in the face, only to be thwarted by interfering friends, the possibility of assault charges, or the sad realization that the would-be recipient could snap your neck with his thumb and forefinger? Bionic Bopper Cars level the playing field, allowing just about anyone to make, and make good on, threats to kick the assess of those who piss them off. They're Sumo-sized robots, clocking in at over 6 feet tall and 5 feet wide, with steel bodies, tire-tread fists, and Honda engines the give them mobility of up to 3 mph in any direction. Best of all, the prize fighters aren't even remote controlled--operators actually sit inside their chest cavities and use a joystick to wallop opponents with upper cuts. Each blow to the head scores one point, awarded and tracked automatically on a front-mounted display. And even though they each cost a year's worth of college tuition, the satisfaction of decimating the Apollo Creeds, Lucys, Ace Merrills, Tom Buchanans, ugly stepsisters, Gordon Ramsays, Wayne Arnolds, Chet Donnellys, NeNe Leakeses, and Biff Tannens of the world will prove to be worth far more to your future than a BA in Psychology. Also, a $17,000 robot to do your bidding is still cheaper than post-altercation maxillofacial surgery.

Check it out

SpinX Toilet Cleaning Robot

$198 - $249 from SpinX »

Cleaning the toilet. A chore so crappy that when I was in college my housemates and I agreed to just not do it. Ah the nights of too much tequila and Taco Bell that could have benefitted from the SpinX. A robot that cleans...

Buy Now

Star Wars First Order AR Stormtrooper Robot

$299.99 from Amazon »

UBTECH's First Order Stormtrooper arrives trained (built-in AR features), armed (app-enabled), and ready for the Dark Lord's (that's you) commands. Aspiring Vaders can interact with the robot using voice commands, and...

Check it out

Aire Self-Flying Robotic Home Assistant

$699 - $749 from Aevena Robotics »

Aire's approach, a robotic home assistant that flies autonomously, is verrrry interesting. Especially considering my first order of business when I catch something flying autonomously around my condo is to swat or Bug-A-Salt...

Check it out

Conor McGregor F*ck You Pinstripe Suit

$6,500 from David August »

I don't know how long the rest of the world will remember the Conor McGregor vs. Floyd Mayweather fight after it's over, but anyone who drops $6,500 on a David August Fuck You pinstripe suit like the one McGregor wore...

Buy Now

Interactive Walking & Talking Einstein Robot

$199 from Amazon »

Hi! My name is (what?) My name is (who?) My name is...Al Einstein. Hey kids, it's the Slim Shady of your grandparents' generation. The amazing, groundbreaking genius Professor Einstein. He forever changed the world of...

Check it out

Kuratas Robot - Rideable Battle Mech

$1.3 million from Suidobashi Heavy Industry »

Me: One 13-foot-tall, 9,920-pound menacing robot that I can either ride and pilot with mere hand and body gestures from a cockpit, or control remotely with my 3G connection, please....

Check it out

Mk. III MegaBot - Piloted Battle Mech

MegaBots October 2017 Update: A couple months (years?) late, but the duel has an official stream date - October 17 at 10pm ET here on Twitch....

Check it out

TigerLady Self-Defense Claw

$29 from TigerLady »

Remember that old Secret deodorant commercial? Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? I'd put TigerLady in that same category. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman...to slash, gouge, and rip apart any...

Check it out

Tertill Solar-Powered Weeding Robot

It's a weeding robot, not a weed robot, but the Tertill gets just as many props for helping out with the most tedious of yard work as it would for...what would a weed robot do, anyway? Roll joints and pack bowls? Turn...

Check it out

Kobi Autonomous Yard Work Robot

$3,999 from Kobi »

Kobi eats snow for breakfast! Kobi mows lawns with the stamina of a gamer sitting down to Gears of War 4 for the first time. Kobi sucks up leaves and spits them out like a piece of sushi that looks delicious on the plate...

Check it out

Steampunk Optimus Prime

$17k from Etsy »

My theory is that this might actually be Optimus Prime and this guy has captured him, found some way of disarming him, and is now trying to sell him. I don't know if I'd be comfortable sleeping with this guy roaming around...

Check it out

Exo-Gauntlet - CO2 Powered Exoskeleton

$3,300 from Bionic Concepts »

JP Rishea masterminds a legion of sick conglomerations of metal and power, but the Exo-Gauntlet is probably his most irrationally needful of them all. I guess one could technically argue that it has a few practical applications...