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Bionic Bopper Cars

By: on November 29, 2011
  • Bionic Bopper Cars

How many times have you been THIS CLOSE to punching someone in the face, only to be thwarted by interfering friends, the possibility of assault charges, or the sad realization that the would-be recipient could snap your neck with his thumb and forefinger? Bionic Bopper Cars level the playing field, allowing just about anyone to make, and make good on, threats to kick the assess of those who piss them off. They're Sumo-sized robots, clocking in at over 6 feet tall and 5 feet wide, with steel bodies, tire-tread fists, and Honda engines the give them mobility of up to 3 mph in any direction. Best of all, the prize fighters aren't even remote controlled--operators actually sit inside their chest cavities and use a joystick to wallop opponents with upper cuts. Each blow to the head scores one point, awarded and tracked automatically on a front-mounted display. And even though they each cost a year's worth of college tuition, the satisfaction of decimating the Apollo Creeds, Lucys, Ace Merrills, Tom Buchanans, ugly stepsisters, Gordon Ramsays, Wayne Arnolds, Chet Donnellys, NeNe Leakeses, and Biff Tannens of the world will prove to be worth far more to your future than a BA in Psychology. Also, a $17,000 robot to do your bidding is still cheaper than post-altercation maxillofacial surgery.

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Tertill Solar-Powered Weeding Robot

It's a weeding robot, not a weed robot, but the Tertill gets just as many props for helping out with the most tedious of yard work as it would for...what would a weed robot do, anyway? Roll joints and pack bowls? Turn...

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The Original Egg-Bot - CNC Art Robot Kit

$199.95 from Amazon »

Get an Egg-Bot in time for Easter and dazzle family and friends with your precision-Sharpied eggs covered in ornate patterns, adorable chick and bunny faces, and the ultimate in egg hunters' prizes: a hard-boiled baby...

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Kuratas Robot - Rideable Battle Mech

$1.3 million from Suidobashi Heavy Industry »

Me: One 13-foot-tall, 9,920-pound menacing robot that I can either ride and pilot with mere hand and body gestures from a cockpit, or control remotely with my 3G connection, please....

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TigerLady Self-Defense Claw

$29 from TigerLady »

Remember that old Secret deodorant commercial? Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? I'd put TigerLady in that same category. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman...to slash, gouge, and rip apart any...

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Kobi Autonomous Yard Work Robot

$3,999 from Kobi »

Kobi eats snow for breakfast! Kobi mows lawns with the stamina of a gamer sitting down to Gears of War 4 for the first time. Kobi sucks up leaves and spits them out like a piece of sushi that looks delicious on the plate...

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Star Wars Force Band

$58.75 from Amazon »

As Rogue One readies to flash back in the Star Wars timeline, you've got the opportunity to flash back in the IRL timeline (but, uh, forward in the Star Wars timeline) to The Force Awakens, and Sphero's 2015 BB-8 app-enabled...

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Steampunk Optimus Prime

$17k from Etsy »

My theory is that this might actually be Optimus Prime and this guy has captured him, found some way of disarming him, and is now trying to sell him. I don't know if I'd be comfortable sleeping with this guy roaming around...

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The Force Awakens Kylo Ren Lightsaber

Sold Out from Etsy »

If you're ready to finish what Lord Vader started, your saber awaits. Cosplay and collectors' darling Saberforge continues to produce some of the best and baddest lightsaber replicas out there. In honor of Star Wars:...

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Exo-Gauntlet - CO2 Powered Exoskeleton

$3,300 from Bionic Concepts »

JP Rishea masterminds a legion of sick conglomerations of metal and power, but the Exo-Gauntlet is probably his most irrationally needful of them all. I guess one could technically argue that it has a few practical applications...

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Cozmo the Real-Life Robot

$173.90 from Amazon »

They say Cozmo is the first "real-life robot like you've only seen in movies." One that has his own personality, which his family (i.e., your kids, i.e., you if you like geeking out on robots) helps cultivate over time...

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Aliens Caterpillar P-5000 Power Loader

Discontinued

It may not muster the technological sophistication of the Kuratas rideable battle mech, but I'd still rather have Dustin Kiska's Aliens Caterpillar P-5000 Power Loader replica because Kiska built all 200 pounds of it...

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HAL Robot Suit - Next Generation Prototype

Japanese robotics company Cyberdyne began their Hybrid Assistive Limb, or HAL trials in 2012. A powered exoskeleton endeavoring to turn humans into cyborg-type robots, HAL has been tested largely in medical facilities...