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Aliens Caterpillar P-5000 Power Loader

By: on March 23, 2013
Discontinued

It may not muster the technological sophistication of the Kuratas rideable battle mech, but I'd still rather have Dustin Kiska's Aliens Caterpillar P-5000 Power Loader replica because Kiska built all 200 pounds of it by hand in his Albuquerque garage and Albuquerque is in New Mexico, which is part of the United States, which means if I get the Power Loader my grandma will not hassle me about owning something made in Japan. In this case, my grandma's opinion is important because she will be giving me the $1,600 I need to buy the Alien Queen eradicator. Don't worry, she'll get to ride it too. Once.

At 120" tall x 72" wide x 72" deep, the life-size hydraulic utility vehicle replica incorporates wood, Styrofoam, found objects, latex paint, spray paint, and cardboard. All joints move and hydraulics expand and contract. When asked to comment on Kiska's Caterpillar off the record, a representative from the US Colonial Marines stated, "Yeah, I'd pay to see Sigourney Weaver manhandle that thing. And she's, like, 70 now."

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Tertill Solar-Powered Weeding Robot

It's a weeding robot, not a weed robot, but the Tertill gets just as many props for helping out with the most tedious of yard work as it would for...what would a weed robot do, anyway? Roll joints and pack bowls? Turn...

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Kuratas Robot - Rideable Battle Mech

$1.3 million from Suidobashi Heavy Industry »

Me: One 13-foot-tall, 9,920-pound menacing robot that I can either ride and pilot with mere hand and body gestures from a cockpit, or control remotely with my 3G connection, please....

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Kobi Autonomous Yard Work Robot

$3,999 from Kobi »

Kobi eats snow for breakfast! Kobi mows lawns with the stamina of a gamer sitting down to Gears of War 4 for the first time. Kobi sucks up leaves and spits them out like a piece of sushi that looks delicious on the plate...

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The Original Egg-Bot - CNC Art Robot Kit

$199.95 from Amazon »

Get an Egg-Bot in time for Easter and dazzle family and friends with your precision-Sharpied eggs covered in ornate patterns, adorable chick and bunny faces, and the ultimate in egg hunters' prizes: a hard-boiled baby...

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Star Wars Force Band

$48.66 from Amazon »

As Rogue One readies to flash back in the Star Wars timeline, you've got the opportunity to flash back in the IRL timeline (but, uh, forward in the Star Wars timeline) to The Force Awakens, and Sphero's 2015 BB-8 app-enabled...

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Steampunk Optimus Prime

$17k from Etsy »

My theory is that this might actually be Optimus Prime and this guy has captured him, found some way of disarming him, and is now trying to sell him. I don't know if I'd be comfortable sleeping with this guy roaming around...

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Exo-Gauntlet - CO2 Powered Exoskeleton

$3,300 from Bionic Concepts »

JP Rishea masterminds a legion of sick conglomerations of metal and power, but the Exo-Gauntlet is probably his most irrationally needful of them all. I guess one could technically argue that it has a few practical applications...

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HAL Robot Suit - Next Generation Prototype

Japanese robotics company Cyberdyne began their Hybrid Assistive Limb, or HAL trials in 2012. A powered exoskeleton endeavoring to turn humans into cyborg-type robots, HAL has been tested largely in medical facilities...

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Cozmo the Real-Life Robot

$179.99 from Amazon »

They say Cozmo is the first "real-life robot like you've only seen in movies." One that has his own personality, which his family (i.e., your kids, i.e., you if you like geeking out on robots) helps cultivate over time...

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Sphero 2B

$99 from Sphero »

A couple of years ago, Sphero became the first robotic ball gaming system maneuverable through a tilt, touch, or swing from connected smartphones or tablets. Sphero can roll on tabletops, serve as a handheld controller...

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Alien Abduction Lamp

Sold Out from Amazon »

When I see alien abduction images like this lamp's they make me think of one thing: Cartman gets an anal probe. Ugh, poor cow. Well, maybe not. I mean, really, whatever fate lies ahead for him on that spaceship can't...

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Xenomorph Folding Knuckle Duster Ring

Sold Out from Etsy »

A xenomorph is a pretty good choice for a knuckle duster topper I think. According to Wikipedia, these types of Aliens, unlike many others pitted against humans in the sci-fi genre, "do not have a technological civilization...