Presidential Monster Action Figures

By: on January 31, 2013
$24.99 - $37.99
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Just one question: how did Romney as the Ronmy make it into this set of Presidential Monster Action Figures? Some wishful thinker jump the gun on production? Because if we're throwing in any old yayhoo just for running, how's about a Hillaryeti or a Big Bob Dole Foot? Wielding an extra sharp #2 as his deadly weapon, of course. Oh, wait, I guess the Ronmy is Ronald Reagan, not Mitt Romney. Damn. I always forget about him. Maybe because he ruled America during my carefree wonder years, long before my interest in politics was piqued by White House sex scandals and the Reverend Al Sharpton's decision to give anorexia a try. Anyway, Reagan joins the ranks of Lincoln, Kennedy, Nixon, Clinton, Bush, and Obama in this 7-part series of notable Heads of State transformed into notable heads (and bodies) of fear and mayhem.

Presidential monster treatment comes in:

  • Baracula: President Obama as Dracula in a macabre black cape and menacing fangs.
  • Zombush: President W. Bush zombified with skin gashes, and pretty much the same facial expression he always has.
  • Wolf Bill: President Clinton as the Wolfman. Obviously. The biggest player of all the monsters.
  • Ronmy: President Reagan as the Mummy. Appropriate, due to age and presence of facial wrinkles reminiscent of gauze wrapping.
  • Monster from the Watergate Lagoon: President Nixon as the Fish Monster, looking better than usual despite the gills and green tint.
  • Phantom of the White House: President Kennedy as the best looking and most suave of the monsters. And the only reasons I'm even allowing the Phantom of the Opera to slide as a real monster is the whole spontaneously breaking into song thing, and the fact that Andrew Lloyd Webber, who is real, scares me more than all of these fictional spawns of evil combined.
  • Lincolnstein: President Lincoln as Frankenstein. Because he was an enormous freak of nature. And I mean that in the best way possible. Lincoln is my favorite. Evidently, he is everyone else's favorite too--his action figure costs about $15 more than the rest of them.

Presidential Monster Action Figures are sold separately, or as a complete set.

Muchas danke to Incredible Things.

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