19

Miss Naughty Talking Keychain

By: on November 23, 2012
$4.99
Check It Out

Did you know the squeezable, talk-raunchy-to-me Miss Naughty Doll also comes in compact, white elephant gift-ready keychain size? Until now, I didn't. I mean, a bookish, wholesome guy like me didn't even know a full-size Miss Naughty existed. The things that come out of her mouth! I had to look up almost every word on Urban Dictionary. And why does she talk about being too tired, but then mention that she has a sister? I don't get it.

Anyway, despite not really understanding anything that's going on here, I'm pretty sure the above video deserves an NSFW tag. Unless, of course, you're bringing Miss Naughty to your office holiday party.

Miss Naughty was named the Adult Play Doll of the Year. For which year and by which organization (in this case, probably not NAMBLA) are both unclear, but if you're not buying that sell, how about this one: "She is every man's dream!! She is every man's perfect woman!" In other words: when she isn't mouthing off one of her 7 very dirty, male-ego-boosting phrases, she doesn't talk at all! Batteries included.

By the way, I get the jumbo-sized boobies, but what's up with the jumbo-sized hands and feet?

TODAY
0 Keytendo Video Game Console Key Holder
Buy Now

Keytendo Video Game Console Key Holder

$29.99 from Amazon »

Somewhere between way too much and not nearly enough geek lies the Keytendo, an NES-themed key holder, and your Goldilocks gift for a geek....

Check it out

Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

Check it out

Luxury Mile High Club Experience

$7,750 from Wish.co.uk »

Don't just simulate them in a Jet Bed, realize your aero-fantasies with the Luxury Mile High Club Experience. Wish.co.uk, peddlers of myriad activities intended to prevent life and its inhabitants from becoming boring...

Check it out

Boregasm Pills

Good thing yawns and O faces look about the same because, thanks to research being conducted by a handful of (presumably exhausted and horny) PhD students at Indiana University's The Kinsey Institute, they're about to...

Buy Now

Japanese Electric Piston Masturbator (NSFW)

Sold Out from Amazon »

Note: The Japanese electric piston masturbator's NSFW designation serves not so much as a reminder that this device is not suitable to view at work as it does a reminder that it is not suitable to use at work. I found...

Check it out

LaunchPAD - Fleshlight iPad Case (NSFW)

$29.95 from Fleshlight »

Though it's not electric or piston-powered...or Japanese...like this friendly sex toy, the LaunchPAD does employ advanced technology in a valiant effort to enhance Man's alone time. The makers of male masturbatory aid...

Buy Now

The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas (NSFW)

$11.95 from Amazon »

Is further product description really needed? First there was Georgia O'Keefe, now there is author and illustrator Morgan Hastings. Black-and-white outlines of anatomical wonders beg for your acrylic and Crayola technicolor...

Buy Now

Squeeze-a-Bean Edamame Fidget Toy & Keychain

$9.99 from Amazon »

I know some of you are sick of fidget spinners, but this Squeeze-a-Bean Edamame keychain is a different kind of fidget toy. A most satisfying kind if the three-pea pod's popping action accurately replicates that of the...

Check it out

Tritium Keychains

Discontinued

Two things. One maybe you already know, one probably you don't. 1) Tritium is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen, and its natural occurrence on earth is extremely rare. However, the dopeness that is humankind can produce...

Buy Now

The Pop-up Book of Sex (NSFW)

$120.36 from Amazon »

It's a good thing The Pop-up Book of Sex came to us (hard, I hear) over 10 years ago because the decade in between gave YouTubers plenty of time to put together a detailed video flip-through of every single one of the...

Buy Now

Sex Positions You Never Thought Possible (NSFW)

$24.98 from Amazon »

Remember that one time you let some chick drag you to hot yoga because she too was hot and you wanted to see her do bendy things in spandex pants, but then you ended up spending the whole class lying on your back trying...

Buy Now

Naughty People Outlet Stickers

$8.10 from Amazon »

These naughty people. Doing doggy style on an electrical outlet. Didn't their mamas teach them anything? Dude better keep his finger out of his lady's mouth (and eyes if they're into that sort of thing) or this love session...