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The Best Things for the Best Things About Fall

Posted: September 12, 2019
The Best Things for the Best Things About Fall

To me, the only good thing about fall is it isn't winter. Long about Halloween, though, fall becomes nothing more than the Evil Cold One's harbinger, so it's just as bad. Maybe you're right there with me. Or maybe you disagree. Either way, there are a few things that come with the changeover from summer to fall that a lot of people look forward to. So for now I'll focus on the positive: the best things about fall.

And to complement those best things, I've pulled up some more best things. Literal things that represent or enhance autumnal mainstays such as football season, the changing of the leaves, cooler weather, and Halloween. Check out my recs for the best things for the best things about fall.

Football Season/Tailgating: QB54 Lawn Chair Football Game

Football Season/Tailgating: QB54 Lawn Chair Football Game
Football Season/Tailgating: QB54 Lawn Chair Football Game

Slip the QB54 seat covers off their back fame and replace them with the game's yellow goalposts. Pull the flaps forward to reveal to reveal your "touchdown baskets" (that, ironically, look like basketball nets) under the chairs' butt cradles. Then set up the chair goals facing one another about 40' apart. Cue Hank Williams Jr. Are you ready for some football?

More importantly, are you ready for some beer, grilled meat, and shenanigans with your throwing arm?

$99.99 ➠ Amazon

Football Season: Shirt Battle NFL-Star Wars Mashup T-Shirts

Football Season: Shirt Battle NFL-Star Wars Mashup T-Shirts

These crafty combos of America's favorite sport and America's favorite film both boggle my mind and make a me a little giddy. Artist Steven Klock designed the T-shirts transforming all 32 NFL teams into members of the National Intergalactic League, with representation from both the Dark Side and the Light. Star Wars characters, beasts, war machines, and other icons meld into NFL team logos, with some playing on the team name (New York Jedis, Seattle Ewoks, Tusken Raiders) and others on their logo design (New Orleans Squadrons, Los Angeles Starfighters.)

$18 to $21 ➠ Shirt Battle

Football Season/Tailgating/Cooler Weather: Sherpa Hoodie Blanket

Football Season/Tailgating/Cooler Weather: Sherpa Hoodie Blanket

The Snuggie evolved? These Sherpa Hoodie Blankets, and a whole bunch like them, are blowing up Amazon with their sherpa lining warmth on the inside, micro fleece-y softness on the outside, and bigness all over.

Correction: knee-length bigness. Unlike Snuggies, Sherpa Hoodie Blankets are designed not to drag on the ground or restrict movement, so you can wear them out and function in them at games and tailgates, while camping and grocery shopping, and at work, in an office that refuses to heat the building above 65 degrees, yet also just released a memo prohibiting the use of personal space heaters due to fire safety concerns.

$35.99 ➠ Amazon

Falling Leaves (and Apples): Rake Assassin Rake/Shovel Combo Tool

Falling Leaves (and Apples): Rake Assassin Rake/Shovel Combo Tool
Falling Leaves (and Apples): Rake Assassin Rake/Shovel Combo Tool

Don't let the photo mislead you, the Rake Assassin is good for a lot more than harvesting potatoes. As a rake / shovel combo tool, you can use it to rake, collect, skim, sift, dump, and haul almost any landscape feature or encroacher, especially dead leaves. And also gravel, poop, and park, beach, or pond trash. It has polypropylene teeth that bend a little, but not too much, and the rake head attaches to a lightweight powder coated aluminum shaft with a plastic D-handle. Overall rake length is 58" and weight 1.75 pounds.

$48.99 ➠ Amazon

Falling Leaves: WORX Electric Leaf Mulcher

Falling Leaves: WORX Electric Leaf Mulcher
Falling Leaves: WORX Electric Leaf Mulcher

When the leaves start to fall the WORX begins. WORX's Electric Leaf Mulcher aims to remove some of the pain from the giant pain in the ass of fall yard cleanup.

Secure a garbage bag underneath the Leaf Mulcher and flip it on to rev up its Flex-a-Line bladeless system (a grass trimmer line). Feed your piles of fallen leaves and twigs into the WORX mouth, and let it shred the dead and rotting waste into organic mulch. You can then spread the mulch as fertilizer, a gift for your garden or flowerbeds, or dispose of it in a form 1/11th of its original size.

$114.74 ➠ Amazon

Oktoberfest: Beer Bottle Stein Lids

Oktoberfest: Beer Bottle Stein Lids

With hats off and bottles raised we say Prost! And I'm not talking about the hats on our own heads, but those covering the heads of our beers. These stein lids have been shrunken down and noveltied up to fit over the tops of most beer bottles. The swell party favors or beer lover gifts are made of pewter and stand around 2.2" tall. They attach to the necks of beer bottles via a metal clip, with the hinged stein head opening for a swig and snapping back shut to keep out the flies, bees, and snot droplets from people with pollen allergies.

$8.49 ➠ Amazon

Pumpkin Spice Everything: Native Pumpkin Spice Latte Deodorant

Pumpkin Spice Everything: Native Pumpkin Spice Latte Deodorant

Pumpkin Spice Latte season is upon us, and Native natural deodorant has one question: do your armpits need some PSL TLC?

For those who aren't familiar, Native the brand has crashed the deodorant scene as an all-natural, all-day, all-powerful stick of personal hygiene. Applied in a thin film over clean, dry armpits, Native says it will neutralize odors and absorb moisture and bacteria all day long. Without using potentially harmful additives, such as aluminum and parabens.

All while slathering you in the scent of every woman's favorite coffee drink, donut flavor, and living room candle. Probably a better, and cheaper, investment than those bottles of pheromone oil.

$12 ➠ Native

Apple Everything Else: The Appleholic's Apple Peeler

Apple Everything Else: The Appleholic's Apple Peeler

True apple addicts don't have time to slough off the forbidden fruit's skin one strip at a time with a handheld peeler or their fingernails. And while other crank peelers technically get the job done expediently, their clunky, heavy metal presentation, tendency to remove half of the apple's flesh along with its skin, and creepy resemblance to a torture device from a Kafka novel make their acquisition and practical use somewhat undesirable.

Pie makers, cider brewers, and those with a bushel-a-day problem will find Starfrit's Apple Pro-Peeler efficient and precise, plus far less likely to leave them with parting images of impalement. Also, it's way cheaper.

$11.9 ➠ Amazon

Cooler Weather: Puffy Coat Slippers

Cooler Weather: Puffy Coat Slippers

These puffy coat slippers aren't the ugliest slippers I've ever seen...well, maybe the orange ones are the ugliest slippers I've ever seen, but I'll bet they're the warmest and coziest on your feet. And the puffiest and squishiest. And always prepared to alert anyone looking down or crawling on the floor that you're a-comin'! Just like the bright and brilliant leaves do for the season of fall.

$19.99 ➠ Amazon

Cooler Weather: Polar Shorts - Fleece Shorts for Spring & Fall

Cooler Weather: Polar Shorts - Fleece Shorts for Spring & Fall
Cooler Weather: Polar Shorts - Fleece Shorts for Spring & Fall

They might make you look more like one of the 3 bears, but Polar Shorts, insulated fleece shorts described as "comfy AF," will make you feel like Goldilocks come spring and fall. Hear that, Dad? Your choice of 100% polyester microfleece inside and out to make everything juuust right when the weather is as cool as you are.

And just in case you weren't yet sold on Polar Shorts as a #1 gift for Dad, the fleece wonders also have deep, XL twill pockets to hold his 13 keys, 4"-thick wallet, and handful of spare participation ribbons, plus come not just in khaki, but also - Rrrawwwrrr! - leopard print.

$59.99 ➠ Amazon

Halloween/Cooler Weather: Jack-o'-Lantern Fire Pit & Fireplace Logs

Halloween/Cooler Weather: Jack-o'-Lantern Fire Pit & Fireplace Logs

If you're not sinister - or brave - enough to burn demon skulls in your fire pit or fireplace at this year's Halloween party, how's about letting the flames lash out from some smiling jack-o'-lantern logs?

Don't worry, these carved-up pumpkins are made from the same ceramic refractory material as traditional gas fireplace logs, so throwing them on the fire won't make your whole house smell like burnt pie, or make your kids think Jack Pumpkinhead was found guilty in his witch trial. They'll just emit some neat and mildly spooky visuals as the light dances in (and through) their triangle eyes.

$39.99 ➠ Amazon

Halloween: Jurassic World Air-Blown Dinosaur Costumes

Halloween: Jurassic World Air-Blown Dinosaur Costumes
Halloween: Jurassic World Air-Blown Dinosaur Costumes

You have some T-Rex decisions to make: do you want the costume with a built-in sound box in the gloves, or do you want to make your own Tyrannosaurus sounds? The fan-and-battery-operated suit comes in both versions.

Or if you're feeling more Tri than T, or more Raptor than Rex, the Jurassic World air-blown dinosaur costumes also come in Triceratops and Velociraptor versions. All are also available in child and adult sizes, so get the whole fam damily ready for some Cretaceous Period trick-or-treating.

$43.14 to $184.88 ➠ Amazon
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