Dude's Must See Products for July 2019
July 2019 set us in the dead center of summer - sun, swimsuit, and superhero season. All 3 are reflected in Dude's must see products of the month.
With a drone flamethrower attachment tossed in to keep things hot.
Stranger Things 6-1/2' Tall Demogorgon Yard Sprinkler
The Stranger Things Demogorgon may have only had abduction and murder in store for the citizens of Hawkins, Indiana in 1983, but this is 2019. Age of sensitivity and cultural understanding. Now all the Demogorgon wants to do is help water your lawn, and blow a cool and refreshing spray of hose water your way on a hot summer day.
The Best Gifts According to Your Favorite TV Characters
It's a list within a list. From Netflix to networks, today's sensations to classic programming of decades past, this is my compilation of the things your favorite TV characters would give as gifts.
Ghost Wire - Invisible Adhesive Speaker Wire
Ghost Wire looks like a roll of masking tape - and the adhesive speaker wire secures flat, and can be painted over like tape too - but contains lines of either 2 or 4 16 AWG Pure Copper Conductors along its white backing. Use Ghost Wire to run stereo signals across the room, around corners, through your car, under carpet and flooring, or wherever you need to extend your speakers' reach, but can't run their wires through walls to do it.
The TaTa Top
While designed in the same vein as the hairy chest swimsuit, I wouldn't necessarily place the TaTa Top in the same things that makes you go ewww category. More like in the things that give you an awkward boner on the beach category, unless - big unless - the wrong person is wearing it.
The wrong person to wear a TaTa Top is about the same as the wrong person to wear any bikini. Shrek. Samwell Tarly. Vladimir Putin riding a bear.
The Chugger Jug, a Bottle Royale, if you will, is a 16-ounce water bottle designed in the likeness of every video game fan's favorite 15-second potable. Fortified features include an easy-clean wide opening and pull-up drinking spout, plus a BPA-free plastic construction and silicone grip for a secure hold while Chugger Jugging.
TF-19 WASP Flamethrower Drone Attachment
Psshh, I need a flamethrower attachment for my drone like I need a healthy 401K. Yeah, that's right. Reeeeal bad. Because TF-19 WASP Flamethrower maker Throwflame indicates their fiery accessory is designed for "remote ignition of aerial and ground targets, bringing new levels of efficiency and manageability to agriculture." And I am nothing if not a man set on the efficient management of agriculture.
Buuurrrnnn, Mama's overgrown backyard blackberry bushes, burn you mother fu....
Outside of Hollywood CGI, this full-body Hulk suit is the most Incredible one I've seen. I especially like the artistic touch of MCU's biggest bad boy good guy posing on a playground merry-go-round for his photo shoot. Hey kids, who wants a push?
The Hulk Suit comes from Etsy shop Envision Plast, which also produces a bunch of other super(hero) cool custom armors and costumes for cosplayers. Thankfully, it doesn't have the bone and muscle density of the real Hulk - the suit is made of lightweight latex - but is still probably hotter than the wrath of Thanos to wear around Comic-Con.
Knock Knock calls their ICK Mug "pretty self-explanatory" and I agree. It's got the letters I - C - K printed in black on the mug's white background, and a black handle distinctly shaped like the letter D. Clearly a terrific, yet specialized gift for a man named Richard.
Hey, Knock Knock, any chance you can make me an UDE Mug?
Hands-Free Wearable Mini Fans
Technically these hands-free wearable mini fans are suitable for anyone who wants to stay cool when it gets hot. But I think we can all agree there's one person in particular the air-circulating neck wraps are made for: Dad. 'Cause Dad's in the business of stayin' cool no matter what the temperature is.
Looking for a minimalist smartphone, kids? In my day we called that a flip phone, but now that the trend is coming back 'round, I guess they needed a new name for it. Alex Davidson calls his take the BoringPhone.
According to Davidson the BoringPhone is a mobile device "with all the useful things, but none of the distracting stuff." Hmmm, define "useful" and "distracting."
Men's One-Piece Thanos Swimsuit
Thanos may finally get his wish of wiping out half the world's population if enough dudes don a men's one-piece Thanos swimsuit this summer. And I thought the ladies' version was disturbing. But I guess as the great Titan himself says, "The hardest choices require the strongest wills."
Fun with Anatomical Optical Illusions (NSFW)
I searched - loooong and harrrrrd - for some choice anatomical optical illusions for your viewing pleasure, and many of you liked what I found. If you haven't seen them yet, or want to revisit the fun, check out the full post.
Most of them are just momentary illusions whose true nature is easy to spot in a second or two, but that's what makes them fun. Because even the idiots will see the weewees, teetees, vajayjays, and sphincters in plenty of time to be offended by them.