Deck the Halls: Holiday Decor & Supplies for 2019
Deck the halls...and the living room. Also, the kitchen gets its own Christmas tree and every window sill a candle flickering bright (via 2 x AA batteries, of course.) Poinsettias and holly-trimmed linen replace the succulents and boring beige cotton on the tabletops, and even the dish towels and dog bowls are swapped for jollier versions sporting reindeer, elves, Frosty, and Snoopy in a Santa hat.
And that's all just on the inside. We haven't even touched the front yard yet.
We may say it's the most wonderful time of the year, but the only way to really prove it is with all the jingle bells and whistles decorating the holidays. From Christmas reds and greens to Hanukkah blues and silvers, here are my picks to help you deck the halls with the best holiday decor and supplies for 2019.
Clark Griswold Life-Size Cardboard Cutout
What's in those packages making Clark look so
happy teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown? My money's on a one year membership to the Jelly of the Month Club.
The National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Clark Griswold cutout stands...and stares...and smiles sorta maniacally...30" wide x 76" tall.
Candy Cane Extension Cord
You already had to worry about the dog chewing on the extension cord, and now with enticing candy cane striping running up and down these super festive fire and electrocution hazards, you can stress about the kids chewing on them too! The Candy Cane Extension cords come in 15' and 25' lengths, and are suitable for indoor or outdoor use.
Hot diggity Hanukkah! It's a wiener dog here to hold the hanukkiyah (plus shammash) candles, and help you celebrate the funukkah of the Festival of Lights.
The adorable Dachshund Menorah is made of matte white glazed stoneware and extends 14" long x 5" tall.
Buddy the Elf Wreath
It's just nice to meet another human who shares my affinity for Elf culture. The artist who handmakes these outstanding Buddy the Elf Wreath calls herself "Erica" but I'm pretty sure her real name is Santa Claus.
8' Inflatable Christmas Vacation Station Wagon
This 8' Inflatable National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Station Wagon didn't make my list of The Best Christmas Movie Themed Gifts because I thought the Griswolds' moose mugs and a Christmas Vacation Village were a little more...practical to buy and use. But the family station wagon, loaded up with their 15' Christmas tree, still deserves a mention in some capacity.
The standout piece of holiday decor / yearlong yard art self-inflates to a respectable 8' long. So, not quite to scale like the actual station wagon my Aunt Jan is always crabbing her neighbor Jeb parks on his front lawn, but still big enough to get recognized (and applauded!) by everyone who passes by.
Star Wars Chewbacca Light Set
Deck the halls with strands of Wookiees, falalalala lalala. And not just the halls, and not just for Christmas. The Star Wars Chewbacca Light Set from Kurt Adler is the all-season tire of home decor: you can string a strand across your tree during the holidays; loop it around your budding begonia in the spring; thread the mini Chewies through the balcony rails or deck umbrella in the summer; and hang them over your front door for Halloween in the fall.
A Christmas Story Village
The Christmas Story Village collection shrinks snapshots of the highs and lows of Ralphie Parker and his family's life so that this holiday season, you can bring them a little closer to your own. From Ralphie's bunny suit to his visit with Santa at Higbee's, the decked out Parker home to The Old Man's prized leg lamp, the icons of small-town Indiana are ready to take their place along your mantel.
HoHoHoH2O Automatic Christmas Tree Watering System
Ho, ho, ho meets some hose, hose, hose, and a coupla gallons of H2O, O, O. Disguising itself as a wrapped gift, the HoHoHoH2O Automatic Christmas Tree Watering System provides an inconspicuous and low-maintenance way to make sure your majestic Douglas fir stays hydrated throughout the holiday season.
The HoHoHoH2O base houses a reservoir for 2.5 gallons of water, pourable and refillable from an opening at the top. A hose extends from the back of the gift box to the trunk of your Christmas tree, where it attaches along with a HoHoHoH2O sensor that detects when the tree needs fresh water pumped in.
420 Science breaks it out only once a year, so if a 14" long, 8-bowled glass Grav Labs Menorah Bong is what you've been smoking cheap and un-stinky weed to save up for since May, here's your chance to turn your pipe dream into your dream pipe.
Since its original debut, 420 Science has scaled down the Menorah bong to desktop size, though they promise this version "can still pack an enormous hit." With all 8 bowls bubbling together when you take hold, those who make each of these fine specimens of a high holy day to order wish you good luck trying to hit them all at once.
Tree Genie Christmas Tree Stand
Just place and pump! The Tree Genie Christmas Tree Stand is kind of like a cross between a normal Christmas tree stand, an inflation device and The Claw game at the arcade. Except with the Tree Genie, you actually get the prize - attaching your tree to the stand in seconds, without having it fall over on top of you, or end up screwed in at the same angle as the Leaning Tower of Pisa - Every! Single! Time!
Krinner's Tree Genie stands come in several sizes, suitable for use indoors and out.
Lovepop Holiday Pop-Up Cards
Make someone's holiday Pop! this year with a laser-cut 3D holiday or Christmas card from Lovepop. Lovepop's pop-up card journey began in 2014, but it wasn't until 2015, when founders and former ship designers Wombi Rose and John Wise appeared on Shark Tank's holiday episode, that the brand truly got signed, sealed, and delivered with an investment from Kevin O'Leary.
Now Lovepop has over 250 eye-popping pop-up cards to choose from, including an entire line of holiday cards featuring Santa Claus, the reindeer, Christmas trees, and religious imagery, such as angels, the nativity, and Yoda. Yep, Yoda.
And after this fall's debut of That Mandalorian, Lovepop would be wise to put into warp speed production a Baby Yoda pop-up card too.
Knocked Upside Down Christmas Tree
And you thought skewering your Christmas tree to the stand was hard before. Treetopia's terrific optical illusion, the 7' Knocked Upside Down Christmas Tree, gives everyone out there looking to stand out - or, as it were, stand upside down - this Christmas the chance to go all in with the centerpiece of their holiday decor.
The Christmas Car Tree
If your wife won't let you Clark Griswald it up with a 20' Christmas tree in the house, take your
desire to overdo it exuberant holiday spirit on the road with a Christmas Car Tree. The rooftop tannenbaum gives your car another 2-1/2' of height and an immeasurable amount of cheer visible from at least a quarter mile away.
Maybe more at night when you fire up the Christmas Car Tree's 70 multi-colored LED lights.
Tactical Christmas Stocking
If you thought your tactical novelties would have to be shelved now that Tactical BBQ Apron-wearing season is over, I'm happy to inform you that, au contraire, you can still have a Holly MOLLE Christmas with a Tactical Christmas Stocking. Check out its integrated straps for candy cane insertion. Its swivel carabiner for hearth mounting. Its pair of quick-release clips on the toe for securing an R-Rated Talking Ted by his neck when you run out of space on the inside. And the stocking is black! Because spirited holiday colors are for the weak!