Sure, you could sort through the hundreds-of-pages-deep catacombs of Amazon Prime Day in search of the biggest and best deals yourself. But why would you when you have a lackey like me to do it for you? Click below to start the slideshow and see where my "Next Page," "Next Page," "Next Page" efforts have shown the real loot lies.
Segway miniPRO - Smart Self Balancing Personal Transporter. Way less funny lookin' than the OG Segway, and way less money suckin' today at $300 off. Get yours for a Prime $699.
Amazon Echo. Alexa! Give me $50 off! Get Amazon's AI darling for $129.99 while supplies last.
Coleman Road Trip Propane Portable Grill. Thrifty grill masters can save 33% and grab this portable BBQ for $99.99.
Stanley 210-Piece Mixed Tool Set. Whoa, Daddy-O. Save 47% on this monster kit, $75 down from $142.50.
Xbox One 1TB Console Bundle. Includes a special edition wireless controller, games Rainbow Six Siege and Forza Horizon 2, and a $50 Amazon gift card. $299 down from $468.98.
Samsung Gear S2 Smartwatch. Wi-Fi connectivity and at-a-glance access to notifications and texts. Get it in Silver or Dark Gray for $224.99, down from $290.10.
EveryDrop Water Filter. Whirlpool says its pop-out filter cleans tap water 4 times faster than any other available. $14.99, down from $22.15.
Yakima DoubleDown 4-Bike Hitch Mount Rack. This deal hadn't quite started yet when I saw it, but original price of the gear mount is $197.10.
Remington Shortcut Clipper Pro Haircut Kit. One-handed grooming for $20 off. $39.99.
RoofBag Cross Country. The 100% waterproof roof bag for large sedans, SUVs, and vans sells for $125, but has a Prime Day Deal price of $84.
Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition. The deal doesn't start until 8:35 p.m. ET so we don't know what the discount is, but standard price is $19.99 for this sensation of a night of inappropriate fun. And the G-rated version is also up for grabs as we speak, at a 25% discount here.