Blowzee Fan for Blowing Out Birthday Candles

Sold Out Amazon »

Nobody likes a birthday cake iced in spit. And now, nobody likes a birthday cake iced in COVID either. Blowzee, in response to kids with unruly saliva and a world with a persistent pandemic, has developed a fan for blowing...

OOOptic Lenses - Magnetic Adhesive Myopia Lenses

$39.90 - $49.90 OOOptic »

Like NakeFit stick-on shoes for your feet, OOOptic Lenses add versatility and minimalism to your lifestyle courtesy of the bond between adhesives and substrates. Oh, and magnets. Can't forget the glorious properties of...

Handshake Door Handle

$49 Etsy »

I don't know if we'll ever be able to go back to shaking hands again, but just in case, I think it's best to keep practicing so I don't forget how. Oh hey, a Handshake Door Handle! Built-in practice on a firm grip and...

Octopus Mug Holder

$215 Dansk »

The Octopus Mug Holder has a mug-holding leg for each mug of coffee I will be drinking this morning. Why do I need a different mug for every cup of coffee? Well, my wife says I'm a big fan of Teenager Pro Tips, and the...

Dude's Must See Products for October 2021 heard you dudes love Squid Game. And Halloween. The biggest LEGO set ever. Throwback cellphones. Vaginas disguised as dinosaurs. And so Dude's Must See Products for October 2021 went out, found all that shit, and compiled it in a nice & neat collections right...

T-Rex Tape Dispenser

$65 Etsy »

As T-Rex was the big boy of the dinosaur world, so too is the T-Rex Tape Dispenser the big boy of the tape-dispensing world. Creator and 3D printer Meow 3D Store lists the plastic Scotch tape feeder's dimensions as 5"...

Pit Liquor - All-Natural Whiskey & Vodka Deodorant

$9.95 - $19.95 Pit Liquor »

I always knew whiskey and vodka made me feel good, but who knew they could make me smell good too? Pit Liquor is a line of deodorants - deodorant cocktails, if you will - that use overproof whiskey and vodka as their...

Nail It Finger Saver

Sold Out Amazon »

Nailed it! What can I say, I've got a nose for hammering nails into walls without smashing, or even brushing, a single finger. A Pinocchio nose, to be exact...

Taking Sides Couple's Snack Tray

$85 - $135 Uncommon Goods »

Yes, please, I want a Taking Sides Couple's Snack Tray. My wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power is always stealing my food. And my wine, beer, and cocktails when she invariably sucks hers down first...

The Crushboard Portable Beer Can Crushing Mat

$7.99 - $12.99 Crushboard »

Crushing an empty beer can on your head may be a real crowd-pleaser, but if you're unsuccessful...enjoy the memes and viral videos. And the concussion. But stomping on empty cans to crush them, now that has a much higher...

Thanksgiving is hands down...no, elementary school art class turkeys made out of hands down my favorite holiday of the year. Why? Four words: gobble 'til you wobble...

Dalstrong Frost Series Kitchen Knives

$59.99 - $119.99 Amazon »

The Dalstrong Frost Series Kitchen Knives look sharp, icy cold, and White Walker approved. Especially if you need a cooking gift for your resurrected-ice-dragon-riding Night King, who's also a pretty damn good home chef...

Walkers Shortbread Advent Calendar

$49.99 Amazon »

A Walkers Shortbread Advent Calendar isn't as good as a Biscoff Cookie Advent Calendar - Biscoff Cookies are the most crunchy, crumbly, caramely creations I ever ate - but it's definitely way better than some cheap chocolate...

Furry Friends & Fiends Motorcycle Helmet Covers

$29.99 Etsy »

I know Halloween is over, but I'm showing you these furry friends & fiends motorcycle helmet covers not as costumes, but as ways to display on the outside who you are on the inside, every time you ride your bike...

WorkRobe - Business on the Top, Comfort on the Bottom

$70 - $89 WorkRobe »

The WorkRobe is for working (from home) women who don't want to put on a stiff collared shirt or itchy sweater for one stupid Zoom call. Or, worse, to sit around stiff and itchy on video conferences all day long. Coined...

Get Your Fat Pants Ready Banner

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Get your fat pants ready, dudes! The Season of Eating, the Festival of Feasting, the Gobble, Gobble...Pepto Bismol...Gobble, Gobble, the Thanksgiving Dinner is upon us! And in case you need a reminder, here's a glittery...

Splinterworks Pool Slides

Splinterworks Pool Slides, now here's something to buy now and look forward to using next summer. Or, more likely, look at now and look forward to using never, since most of us can't afford them...

3D Printed Vaginasaur (NSFW)

$6.99 - $45.99 Etsy »

Be careful, the 3D Printed Vaginasaur definitely eats meat. Etsy shop 10th Dimension 3D calls this prehistoric poon print the "Dino Pussy" and the "Cuntasaurus," but I feel like "Vaginasaur" rolls off the tongue best...

E120: What Is This Thing?

$129.90 Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 120 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

Innova Advanced Heat & Massage Inversion Table

$207.14 Amazon »

How do you ruin a massage? Make me get it in various states of hanging upside down. An advanced heat and massage inversion table, Innova? Who am I, Batman?...

Raspberry Pi Zero 2 W

Raspberry Pi Zero: $5. Raspberry Pi Zero W: $10. Raspberry Pi Zero 2 W: Priceless. Nah, just kidding. It's $15...

Nova Ceramics Travel Mugs

$18.99 - $20.99 Amazon »

As purdy as Nova Ceramics' Travel Mugs are, lookin' all like the ocean surf in all the colors of the rainbow, one thing my household does not need is another mug, ceramic, travel, double-wall insulated, lidded, unlidded...

Sycamore Cat Tree

Sold Out Etsy »

The Sycamore Cat Tree is a cat tree indeed. Four stories tall, and built from a real dragonwood tree, Pet Tree Houses handmakes each of their stunning cat towers to order. The leaves are synthetic, made of silk, and the...

Autoblow Decoy Safe

$39 Autoblow »

Funny, functional, dare I say Autoblow's take on the decoy safe is ingenious? Dirty Santa is lickin' his chops for this season's gift exchange...