Household
Magic Billet Boxes
A Magic Billet represents the assembly of solid, aircraft-grade aluminum and a magnetic locking system. Together, these outstanding components surreptitiously store my stash. Of gum. I have to hide it, you know. Ever...
Warplane Propeller Ceiling Fan
This warplane ceiling fan reminds me that I hate ceiling fans. For two reasons. First, once they're on it takes me 10 minutes to figure out how many times I have to pull the GD cord to turn them off. Click. It's slowing...
Invisible Glove Protective Hand Coating
My immediate impression is that applying BlueMagic Invisible Glove to my hands would feel like covering them in a thin layer of Elmer's Glue. That thought gives me the willies and makes me want to vomit. Maybe the Invisible...
Pretentious Beer Glasses
A set of 5 beer glasses, each of which has been crafted explicitly to cater to the nuances of a particular style of beer, is kind of pretentious and off-putting, right? But what if the set also came with a sense of self-awareness...
Get in the Kitchen Bit@hes Cookbooks & Rubs
I could never match skills, and for once am not even going to try to match wits, with Jason Bailin. Bailin is a man who endeavors to transplant other men from Chinese takeout vestibules to the kitchen by way of tough...
Shine 24K Gold Rolling Papers
Shine and its 24K Gold rolling papers add a new action to the ever-growing list of Things You Can Do with Gold. Currently populated by: 1) Eat it; 2) Shit it; and 3) Buy expensive things with it. Stoners and recreational...
Heavy Doody #2 Odor Eliminator
Heavy Doody cannot hide the fact that I washed down 3 bowls of Honey Badger BBQ chili with one of those German hefeweizens that tastes like bananas, or that I've been in the bathroom for 18 minutes, or the sounds I am...
Vornado Super Fan
I don't know why Vornado needs four words--Whole Room Air Circulator--to describe what I can sum up in two: Super Fan. Truly. I've had many occasions on which to use one of these compact wind makers, namely any time my...
Scout - Hassle-Free Home Security System
ADT had better either step up its game or get ready for retirement because with all of the user-controlled, smartphone-based home security systems trickling onto the market it won't be long now until third-party remote...
Airlight Screw-in Ceiling Fan
I was going to open my discussion of the Airlight screw-in ceiling fan/light with a lightbulb joke, but in searching for the perfect one to relay I stumbled upon something even better: an entire Website devoted to lightbulb...
Pacsafe Anti-Theft Bag & Backpack Mesh
Even secured inside a Pacsafe, I'm not sure I'd tie my backpack up to, say, a bike rack or a telephone pole and take off on a tour of Prague luggage-free for the afternoon, but I do approve of the eXomesh-cage-and-lock...
DNA Bookcase
It's the double helix of your literary life. And remember, there's a 50/50 chance its contents will get passed down to your kids, so maybe try filling it with something other than comic books, porn, and smooth jazz, 'ey?...
Leatherman Mut Multitool
I was just sitting here picking my nose and it dawned on me: human hands are the original multi-tool. Then I started thinking about all of the varied tasks they can perform in their host of contortions, nose picking...
Tempo Drop Weather Forecaster
Tempo Drop is a stylized version of storm glass. Or if, like me, you don't know what the Orville Redenbacher a storm glass is either, then the Tempo Drop is a stylized weather forecaster. The sealed glass container holds...
Rolet Triple Barrel Pipe
Rolet (roll-ay, like Nube and ole!) is the triple barrel shotgun for pacifists. Really. It loads. It fires. It smokes. And I'd argue that using it will make you feel way better for way longer than shooting something...
Gandalf vs. Saruman Salt & Pepper Shakers
A set of Gandalf vs. Saruman salt & pepper shakers solidifies it: salt is evil, pepper is good. Makes sense. Salt can curse us with high blood pressure resulting in an increased risk of heart disease and stroke. The worst...
Buckel Up Belted Futon/Chair
Guess what happens when the Buckel Up's belt comes off. Well, I'll tell you this much: it's somewhere between as awesome as gettin' it on and as awful as gettin' it thrashed across your backside. (Note: for the masochists...
The Brief Safe
Uh, those are gross. And while I know gross is the fundamental point of a poo-stained pair of briefs with a hidden, Velcro-sealed compartment in the fly...dude...those are gross. And it gets worse: according to The Brief...
Bacon Basket Pan
Is a bowl-shaped baking dish designed explicitly to mold bacon into baskets for transporting eggs and BBQ pulled pork to my mouth necessary? I don't know, are pants necessary? Necessity may be one, but she is not the...
ChiliPad - Cooling & Heating Mattress Pad
This visual sales pitch for the Chilipad, a mattress cover that can cool or heat his and her respective halves of the bed, might be my favorite photo I've seen all summer, and no one is even naked or wielding a sword...
Waterpik Showerpik
I just had a childhood flashback. My grandma totally owned and operated one of these hydro-flosser things. But it didn't connect to the shower head like Waterpik's handy Showerpik, it had a reservoir you had to fill...
Octopus Couch
Really this couch is called the Aster Papposus Sofa, but who knows what the hell an aster papposus is? I can't even pronounce those words together, and have just resorted to reading them as Snuffleupagus. To whom the...
Le Beanock - Bean Bag Hammock
I wholeheartedly support Le Beanock, and any installation whose defining attributes are comfort, relaxation, the eschewal of productivity, and swinging to and fro in a way reminiscent of my infancy, when I snoozed in...
NightGlow Toilet Seat
NightGlow Toilet Seats don't just preclude black-of-night stubbed toes and Awww, F me morningtime cleanup requirements, they transform your excretory system's best inorganic buddy into an exhilarating pee-themed arcade!...
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