Decode the Time Watch

By: on March 06, 2013
Check It Out

I know I've said this before, but my cache of interesting stories is running dry so here we go again: someone recently told me that schools no longer teach kids to read analog clocks because kids all have digital watches and cell phones for determining the time now. I did not verify this information via Snopes or anything, but I believe it because that sounds about right for the underachieving, freeloading youth of today. I'm glad to see that Japan, a country that believes in both changing with the times and work ethic, isn't letting this intellectual indolence run unchecked. Instead of allowing wearers to passively read its output of digital time, the Kisai X cryptography-inspired LED wristwatch forces them to lube up their brains and decode it.

A mineral crystal pyramid lens houses the Kisai X's temporal designation--in this case, abstract LED line formations that glow the hours from top to bottom and minutes from left to right. Note: I do hope the watch includes a key to its highly stylized interpretation of Arabic numerals for those of us who have already done the whole elementary school thing and proven our worth to society. Because I can't decode a single number. Even after watching the animated example on Tokyoflash's Website, both while sober and high.

The Kisai X also includes decodable date and alarm functions, as well as an optionally-activated animation setting that alights the display in an Irish jig once every 10 minutes between 6:00 p.m. and 12:00 midnight. The watch's battery is USB rechargeable, with each full charge lasting around a month. As with most Tokyoflash timepieces, the Kisai X comes in an assortment of LED and band colors.

Check it out

Budget Your Time: The 10 Best Men's Watches Under $100

Wearing a watch gives you one less reason to check your phone. Wearing a watch that costs less than $100 gives you one less reason to ask your girlfriend if she could maybe pick up dinner. For the next 6 months. Here...

Buy Now

Piet Hein Eek Tube Watch

$199 - $359 from Amazon »

Dutchman Piet Hein Eek's tube watch began as a tube clock. And Piet Hein Eek's tube clock had even more humble beginnings as a tube and an extrusion ring. Piet turned to extrusion molding to design his clock face. It's...

Check it out

World's Thinnest Watch

The new name in ultra-thin? It's...no, not the chick who's playing Carrie in the prequel series to Sex and the City. Hint: It's an inanimate object. It's...no, not Nicole Kidman. Mom, stop trying to guess! You're messing...

Check it out

Anti-Kidnapping Watch Band

$20 from Gearward »

Mark Greenman has seen the TIHK and raised it a ceramic razor blade, a 4' Kevlar friction saw, and one trip to the lower hemisphere. In his own words: I designed the A-K Band because I plan on traveling to South America...

Check it out

Recon 6 Utility Watch

$275 - $375 from Recon 6 »

The Recon 6 may be the only useful thing ever to come out of watching reality TV. Tim Ralston created his utility watch following a conversation he had with friends about being stranded on a remote island. A conversation...

Check it out

Tesla Watch

$59.99 from ThinkGeek »

Induction motors, X-ray experimentation, the world's first RC boat. Nikola Tesla's contributions to the world were numerous and thrilling during his nearly 6 decades of scientific pursuit in New York. So it's strange...

Check it out

Ritot Projection Watch

$120 from Ritot »

August 2014 Update: Sadly, it appears that the Ritot watch is yet another crowdfunding scam. Thanks to commenter Bea Foroni for posting this article summarizing why Ritot technology isn't currently possible, and the bizarre...

Buy Now

Iron Samurai Blue LED Watch

$7.90 from Amazon »

As if the opportunity to wear a segmented steel LED-lit wristband that might make people wonder if you're under house arrest isn't reason enough to complete this purchase, the fact that the Iron Samurai also possesses...

Check it out

iWatch 2

It's sleek, it's svelte, and it will make your wrist look a mile long. It even redefines the concept of little black box with its glide-to-reveal top lid. The iWatch 2 has all of the classic features of the iWatch: WiFi...

Buy Now

The Bradley Tactile Watch

$285 - $395 from Amazon »

Although I'm largely an insensitive bastard, even I was puzzled to hear that visually impaired people currently have only 2 types of watches available to them: those that talk, and those with removable covers that allow...

Check it out

Grindrite Weed Watch

$39.99 from Vaporite »

I thought it would do something cutesy like stay frozen on 4:20, but nay. The Grindrite keeps real time too! Though usually after a few tokes of the good stuff my friend Victor procures I'm not really able to comprehend...

Check it out

HM6 Space Pirate Watch

$230k from MB&F »

You gotta have some balls to call your watch an "horological machine" and charge over $200 grand for it. And MB&F's HM6 Space Pirate is definitely a watch with balls. Five of them, to be exact. The timepiece's transparent...