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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie/down-there-repair-7882.jpg "Down There Repair")
Application of Sam's Natural Down There Repair fixes two major male discomforts and social embarrassments: chafed crotch and smelly crotch. It can also be used preventatively, thwarting these afflictions from striking down and ruining more...
/tongue-mounted-toothbrush-7449.jpg "Tongue-Mounted Toothbrush")
Here are some problems with not brushing your teeth: brown teeth; hot buttered ass breath. Here are some problems with brushing your teeth regularly: gum recession due to hard bristles and/or overzealous brushing techniques; the hassle more...
/The-357-Magnum-Gun-Hair-Dryer-874.jpg?mode=crop "The 357 Magnum Gun Hair Dryer")
A real "blast" from the past. In a clever display of grooming irony, users shoot this vintage 357 Magnum Hair Dryer at their heads to avoid committing style suicide. We can see it now, the biggest public service campaign since, This Is Your Brain, This Is Your Brain on Drugs: Blow Your Hair Out, Not Your Brains Out. more...
/haircut-umbrella-7576.jpg "Haircut Umbrella")
Why did the Haircut Umbrella choose for its product model a kid who looks like he has been knocked cross-eyed by the schoolmates who rammed his head through a rain blocker, with its ability to catch flyaway hair clippings during grooming more...
/manhands-soap-6901.jpg "ManHands Soap")
When I was in college I worked in food service for 5 years, during which time I smoked a lot of weed and touched a lot of nasty shit. Like I regularly had to stick my hand down garbage disposals clogged with half-eaten pancakes and more...
/dry-goods-athletic-spray-6667.jpg "Dry Goods Athletic Spray Powder")
My first question when Tim Joyce wrote to me about his Dry Goods athletic powder was, "Uh, what's that?" To which he responded, "It's essentially sprayable Gold Bond without the mess." Cool. But of course my second question was, "Uh, what's Gold Bond?" I went ahead and Googled that one on my own. Apparently some guys, such as those who actually partake in physical activities, aren't always fresh more...
/morninghead-mans-5second-hairstylist-2490.jpg "Morninghead: Man's 5-Second Hairstylist")
Sometimes, the last thing you want to wake up to is morning head. It's unruly, and it's hard to handle, yet it must be calmed before leaving the house, and especially before facing your ball buster of a boss, and his hot administrative more...
/credit-card-razor-mirror-6836.jpg "Credit Card Razor & Mirror")
Good thing they didn't let me name this portable, credit-card-sized razor and mirror combo. I would have picked something stupid like Carzor. You know, credit card + razor = Carzor. Like how Brad + Angelina = ...oh wait, what would more...
/six-shooter-shave-brushes-6637.jpg "Six Shooter Shave Brushes")
You've had clean shaves, close shaves, and probably much-needed shaves, but have you ever had a .44 caliber shave? Six Shooter Shave Brushes, from badger bristles to authentic shell casing handles, will deliver a face full of lather more...
/the-headblade-2707.jpg "The HeadBlade")
Olympians, UFC behemoths, crazy old baller John Salley, and four out of five men who regularly slash their scalps with traditional blades agree: the HeadBlade is the razor of smooth-domed champions. Just nestle the HeadBlade in the more...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
/pipe-tobacco-shaving-soap-5678.jpg "Pipe Tobacco Shaving Soap")
Smelling like pipe smoke? Disgusting. Smelling like pipe tobacco? Distinguished. Like your grandfather. Or Don Draper. Pipe Tobacco Shaving Soap infuses faces with a mellow, woodsy scent that most ladies, and probably many animals of more...
/unicorn-hooded-towel-6124.jpg "Unicorn Hooded Towel")
What a surprise my nieces and nephews will get tonight when they sneak down to catch a glimpse of Santa, and instead see me prancing around the living room in my magical unicorn towel. Don't worry, kids, I bear gifts too. Rainbows and more...
/fetus-foot-soap-4618.jpg "Fetus & Foot Soap")
Fetuses & Feet. They go together like Salt & Pepper, Heisenberg & Pinkman, Mildly Disturbing & Steve Buscemi. In the surrealist world of Etsy vendor L.S., sickly fascinating soap #1 begins with a handmade mold mimicking fetus features more...
/Macbook-Air-Compact-Mirror-1511.jpg?mode=crop "Macbook Air Compact Mirror")
Steve Jobs, the visionary that was Apple Computer, it is said had one dying wish. One last insight into the culture he helped create. And that insight brought us the Macbook Air Compact Mirror for ladies to see what they look like while more...
/duffys-brew-beer-shampoo-4177.jpg "Beer Shampoo")
Apparently beer shampoo, unlike Bacon Lube, is more than just a novelty created from one of mankind's greatest gifts to mankind. Its reviews are overwhelmingly positive, particularly with regard to scent and post-cleansing tactile properties. more...
/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop "The World's Most Powerful Laser")
