Grooming

Shower Foot Massager, Scrubber & Cleaner

$14.95 from Amazon »

When I went to my Nana's as an ornery kid, and either didn't want to take a shower, or didn't clean myself to her liking, she always told me the same thing: "If you don't get in that shower and do it right, I'll come...

Remington Shortcut Pro Self-Haircut Kit

$52.09 from Amazon »

Time to learn a new skill...and maybe learn to love a new haircut. The Remington Shortcut Pro is a self-haircut kit that could see a big surge in popularity if barber shops and hair salons remain closed for the foreseeable...

Ingrown Toenail Correction Tool

$8.99 from Amazon »

Nothing like fighting the inflicted pain of an ingrown toenail with...inflicting pain to remove the ingrown toenail. This ingrown toenail correction tool looks like a torture device created by evil nail salon owners...

EDC Titanium Earpick

$19.90 - $25.49 from Amazon »

An earpick, also known as an ear spoon or ear scoop, is a super sexy tool for ignoring your mama's advice and digging out all that gooey (or dry and flaky) earwax from your ear canals. And, with MecArmy's EDC Titanium...

The Lollipop Wipe - Chocolate-Flavored Crotch Cleaner

$14.99 from Amazon »

It tastes like dark chocolate and it's latex-compatible, ladies and gentlemen. Lollipop Wipes are individually wrapped pieces of black rayon paper infused with an edible - and dark-chocolate-flavored! - water-based cream...

SZQHT Wide Jaw Nail Clippers

$9.97 - $12.72 from Amazon »

Ready for a little DIY, at-home snip, snip? This time for your fingernails and toenails, rather than your vas deferens*. SZQHT levels up your cheap and crusty nail clippers with their line of ergonomic, wide jaw trimmers...

Maxsoft Scalp Massager & Shampoo Brush

$6.98 - $8.99 from Amazon »

If scalp massages tickle your pickle, get ready to enjoy some serious tickling of your pickle with Maxsoft's scalp massager & shampoo brush. In the shower no less! My second favorite place to tickle my pickle next to...

Gillette Heated Razor

$234.25 from Amazon »

Sure, you could be a GilletteLabs Heated Razor for a couple hundos and experience "instant warmth in less than one second at the push of a button." Or you could achieve the exact same effect for the cost of a disposable...

Encompass 20-Second Half-Mouth Electric Toothbrush

$99 - $109 from indiegogo »

Come on, Encompass, have we really gotten to the point that two minutes of toothbrushing is too long? Now we need to cut out 100 of the 120 seconds we're meant to spare on cavity prevention and proper oral hygiene a couple...

Electric Lip Plumper

$20.11 from Amazon »

It's not so much that I doubt this electric lip plumper will work as it is I doubt it will feel very good during or after use. Certainly not as good as the other kind of "electric lip plumper," if you know what I mean...

Pimple Popper Tool Kit

$7.99 - $9.99 from Amazon »

Wowee! A 7-piece Pimple Popper Tool Kit. Blackheads, whiteheads, and pus-filled zits better watch out, 'cause there's never been a better way to get rid of acne!...

Nail Fungus Repair Pen

$17.97 from Amazon »

Gah! Gah! Gah! This nail fungus repair pen is fine, great even, in and of itself, but Puriderma's Proof That It Works! photos? Gah! Gah! Gah! I'm about to lose my lunch, and I haven't even had lunch yet today. Toenails...

SteelBee Razor Saver

$9.99 from Amazon »

The SteelBee Razor Saver asks, "Replacing your blades often?" Why, yes, SteelBee, I do replace them on the regular. But not because they're rusty. Because, um, they're dull, and you're supposed to replace them. Every...

Hello Oral Care Activated Charcoal Infused Floss

$17.99 from Amazon »

Hello Oral Care's line that's supposed to sell us on their Activated Charcoal Infused Floss is "Fall black in love with flossing." Um. Huh. How to unpack that?...

AuraGlow LED Teeth Whitening Kit

$48.95 from Amazon »

With AuraGlow your teeth will glow, and then they'll glow. This teeth whitening kit combines the active-ingredient-goo of white strips with the mouthpiece-style tray of whitening offerings from dentists' offices, and...

Flint Retractable Lint Roller

$9.95 from Amazon »

I promise you, Flint Retractable Lint Rollers are a better purchase, for yourself or as a gift, than they might seem at first glance. For example, maybe you have pets. Maybe you need a gift for a pet lover. Maybe you...

Grip Clean Dirt-Infused Heavy Duty Hand Soap

$5.99 - $10.95 from Amazon »

Grip Clean heavy duty hand soap goes for the sly marketing technique of claiming it will wash your soiled hands clean of dirt using the power of...dirt. Developed for auto mechanics, fabricators, construction workers...

Dirty Body Spray

Discontinued

Need to appear more rugged and manly? A few spritzes of Dirty Body Spray will make you look like a mechanic and volunteer firefighter who just finished the World's Toughest Mudder. Scent choices include Pitmaster and...

Nintendo Entertainment System Dopp Kit

$24.90 from Box Lunch »

Box Lunch's Nintendo Entertainment System Dopp Kit means you can keep your 'stache looking as dapper as Mario's and locks as lustrous and coifed as Link's even when you're traveling or on the go. The toiletry bag's NES...

Teeth Whitening Pen

$16.99 from Amazon »

The only thing that sucks worse than yellow teeth is trying to whiten them with strips, trays, or whitening pens like this one, and spending the next few weeks feeling like everything that touches my teeth, including...

LastSwab Reusable Cotton Swab

$21 from LastSwab »

The LastSwab Reusable Cotton Swab: "Because there is no Planet B." Hear that, ocean-polluting and marine-life-skewering Q-Tips?...

The Lawn Mower Manscaping Electric Trimmer

$59.99 from Amazon »

The first scene in the video for the Lawn Mower 2.0 electric trimmer for manscaping is pretty much exactly what I'd envision the Lawn Mower 2.0 would do to my private regions if I used it: the Happy Trail becomes the...

Haeyo Mayo Hair Nutrition Mask

$16 from Amazon »

Haeyo Mayo, 'eh? Now that looks like an April Fool's joke waiting to happen. It might not even be on purpose. A haircare product packaged in a squeeze bottle that looks exactly like the craft batch stuff my wife buys...

Osana All Natural Mosquito Repellent Soap

Sold Out from Amazon »

I see your lighting of a citronella candle to keep the mosquitos away, and raise you bathing in the essential oil, rubbing it in soap form all over my body as a skeeter beater for all 2000 of my bug-averse body parts...