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Grooming

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Wednesday, October 2, 2013
$299 from Blizzdent »

It looks like someone put the inside of a sea urchin on the inside of a mouthpiece, but if Blizzident really works, I wouldn't care if it looked like one of the McPoyle brothers' armpits. I'll be able to brush my teeth--and...

Wednesday, October 15, 2014
$14.99 from Sir Hare »

I say if you're balding, go bald or go home. Because if you stay out everyone's just going to shit on your receding hairline, bad rug, or sprouting plugs behind your back....

Tuesday, October 22, 2013
$15.99 from Amazon »

Men, removing unwanted back hair is now as easy as putting on a coat! And if you don't believe me, just ask Wilmer Valderrama, who appears to be as big of a Brazilian Back male hair eradicating system fan as he does to be a big schmo!...

Thursday, August 28, 2014
$9.79 - $16.01 from Amazon »

Duke Cannon would like you to know two things about his Big Ass Bricks of Soap. One, they are 3 times bigger than "feminine soaps." In other words, if you're not using a Big Ass Brick of "Smells Like Accomplishment" or "Smells...

Saturday, September 17, 2011
Sold Out from Etsy »

A real "blast" from the past. In a clever display of grooming irony, users shoot this vintage 357 Magnum Hair Dryer at their heads to avoid committing style suicide. We can see it now, the biggest public service campaign since...

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Now this looks disgusting and promising. Binotomo Nasu Dentifrice, or Jet Black Toothpaste, expands upon the ideas that 1) adding charcoal powder to beauty products will extract skin impurities and whiten teeth, and 2) once you go black, you'll never go back....

Sunday, May 19, 2013
$10.95 from Sam's Natural »

Application of Sam's Natural Down There Repair fixes two major male discomforts and social embarrassments: chafed crotch and smelly crotch. It can also be used preventatively, thwarting these afflictions from striking down...

Wednesday, December 4, 2013
$19.09 from Amazon »

A Mach 3...or 9...or whatever the hell number they're on now, a pack of blades, and a RazorPit. Gifts for Dad = done. The RazorPit, which I prefer to think of as a Big Boy Bed for my razor, recruits a patented friction technology...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

It's cuttin' it close, but order now and your Single Handed Barber, a DIY electric hair trimmer for short cuts, may arrive just in time for Father's Day. Cuttin' it close. Ha! Hahaha! Pun. Intended. Puns and I share the ambivalent...

Tuesday, February 7, 2012
$10.99 from Amazon »

Sometimes, the last thing you want to wake up to is morning head. It's unruly and it's hard to handle, yet it must be calmed before leaving the house. It especially must be calmed before facing your ball buster of a boss and...

Tuesday, March 11, 2014
$15.46 from Amazon »

I can't guarantee you'll get laid if you don't smell like a cesspool of bacteria and last night's broccoli & Cheez Whiz casserole, but I can guarantee you won't get laid if you do. My point: you're better off not smelling...

Saturday, November 16, 2013
$19.95 from Amazon »

Everyone knows that pigs don't sweat. But if they did, they would smell like Power Bacon. And now too so can you. Just be sure to apply the deodorant with caution. Because while obviously nothing attracts the favor of a lady...

Tuesday, November 5, 2013
$11.99 from Amazon »

According to Soft Goat, "Scruffy is sexy!" And given that scruffy means unshaven and unshaven means me not having to partake in the laborious task of shaving every morning, it appears I have finally succeeded in my quest to...

Thursday, September 26, 2013
$24.99 from Amazon »

It's obvious what the Mangroomer is, so let's just cut to to the chase: what can this DIY back shaver do for you?...

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
$6.95 from Etsy »

When I was in college I worked in food service for 5 years, during which time I smoked a lot of weed and touched a lot of nasty shit. Like I regularly had to stick my hand down garbage disposals clogged with half-eaten pancakes...

Friday, November 22, 2013
$31.75 - $100 from Shapeways »

Could the knuckle duster beard comb become the new pinky ring? Intimidating, yet decorative, with the added bonus of serving a pragmatic purchase? Oh boy! I hope this power play comes to pass. I'd consider the finger ring-face...

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Here are some problems with not brushing your teeth: brown teeth; hot buttered ass breath. Here are some problems with brushing your teeth regularly: gum recession due to hard bristles and/or overzealous brushing techniques;...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013
$279 from GNR 8 »

The Mirror 180's joined splices allow it to tilt and reposition such that it reflects many a splendid thing. Namely, a more comprehensive view of me. One half of the mirror angles into 3 different positions, suiting a bevy...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
$16 from Firebox.com »

What is, a man who ate his daughter's 1st birthday cake without a fork, Alex? No? What is...a makeshift Fraggle mask? No? OK, then how about you just tell me why this man has neon pink goo smeared on his face, Mr. Trebek?...

Saturday, December 28, 2013
$13.40 from Amazon »

I don't really see the point in ironing clothes unless someone who's not me is doing the ironing, but I guess if you're an advocate of the activity you might like this itty bitty iron for use in wrinkle extermination while...

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Would discovering a girl is wearing anti-sweat armpit stickers in the middle of making out with her be better or worse than discovering she's wearing a heavily padded bra? I can't decide. Both would be incredibly disappointing....

Thursday, February 7, 2013
$14.35 from Amazon »

My first question when Tim Joyce wrote to me about his Dry Goods athletic powder was, "Uh, what's that?" To which he responded, "It's essentially sprayable Gold Bond without the mess." Cool. But of course my second question...

Wednesday, February 20, 2013
$9.48 from Amazon »

Good thing they didn't let me name this portable, credit-card-sized razor and mirror combo. I would have picked something stupid like Carzor. You know, credit card + razor = Carzor. Like how Brad + Angelina = ...oh wait, what...

Monday, September 23, 2013

Battery-operated nail trimmer, um, no thank you, sir. Actually, my heart is pounding so fast and the knot snowballing in my stomach growing so large right now, I can't even muster the pleasantries. I'm just going to go with...

Friday, December 23, 2011

Although not quite running true to the movie in substance, in look and feel, this Fight Club bar of soap replica has it nailed. Claiming to be made from electrolytes, caffeine and "punching" it looks like it will smell (and...

Sunday, April 21, 2013
$14.75 from Amazon »

Why did the Haircut Umbrella choose for its product model a kid who looks like he has been knocked cross-eyed by the schoolmates who rammed his head through a rain blocker, with its ability to catch flyaway hair clippings...

Thursday, February 16, 2012
$7.49 from Amazon »

Olympians, UFC behemoths, crazy old baller John Salley, and four out of five men who regularly slash their scalps with traditional blades agree: the HeadBlade is the razor of smooth-domed champions. Just nestle the HeadBlade...

Friday, November 16, 2012
$5 from Etsy »

Smelling like pipe smoke? Disgusting. Smelling like pipe tobacco? Distinguished. Like your grandfather. Or Don Draper. Pipe Tobacco Shaving Soap infuses faces with a mellow, woodsy scent that most ladies, and probably many...

Thursday, December 8, 2011
Discontinued

Steve Jobs, the visionary that was Apple Computer, it is said had one dying wish. One last insight into the culture he helped create. And that insight brought us the Macbook Air Compact Mirror for ladies to see what they look...

Monday, February 4, 2013

You've had clean shaves, close shaves, and probably much-needed shaves, but have you ever had a .44 caliber shave? Six Shooter Shave Brushes, from badger bristles to authentic shell casing handles, will deliver a face full...

Monday, December 24, 2012
$49 from Etsy »

What a surprise my nieces and nephews will get tonight when they sneak down to catch a glimpse of Santa, and instead see me prancing around the living room in my magical unicorn towel. Don't worry, kids, I bear gifts too....

Monday, August 13, 2012
$15 from Etsy »

Fetuses & Feet. They go together like Salt & Pepper, Heisenberg & Pinkman, Mildly Disturbing & Steve Buscemi. In the surrealist world of Etsy vendor L.S., sickly fascinating soap #1 begins with a handmade mold mimicking fetus...

Saturday, July 7, 2012
$17.99 from Amazon »

Apparently beer shampoo, unlike Bacon Lube, is more than just a novelty created from one of mankind's greatest gifts to mankind. Its reviews are overwhelmingly positive, particularly with regard to scent and post-cleansing...

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