Body

HiccAway - Immediately Stop the Hiccups

$14 from HiccAway »

HiccAway makes one hicc of a claim: it will stop your hiccups immediately. Designed by Dr. Ali Seifi, Director of the Neuroscience Intensive Care Unit at the University of Texas, the HiccAway device is basically a redesigned...

Star Wars Face Masks

$14.92 from Etsy »

May the 4th be with you, and may the Rona be in a galaxy far, far away. This series of Star Wars face masks is from Ethical Addiction, made in honor of favorite franchise characters - from Chewbacca to Vader, Yoda (adult-size)...

Gloves in a Bottle Shielding Lotion for Dry Skin

$17.95 from Amazon »

A lot of us, and especially our health care workers, could use any number of shields right now. Gloves in a Bottle, a self-described Shielding Lotion, is volunteering to be that protective barrier for our dry, cracked...

Your Face Custom Face Masks

$19.95 from Obscure A Tees »

Your own face on a face mask. The option has been available, and shown a few different faces of itself, for years now - remember the creepy Realface clone? - but this one from Obscure A Tees is made in the face of Covid-19...

K-fit Kegel Toner for Men

$159.95 from Amazon »

One thing I don't like the looks of is this K-fit Kegel Toner for Men. Part 1 of my instinct to slowly back away is, of course, the "probe," which may not go up my pee hole, but is definitely going somewhere uncomfortable...

Disposable Skin Stapler & Staple Remover

$23.99 from Amazon »

That's a nasty gash, but...you sure you want to go to the ER? Even with them all stretched to capacity, and me all standing here with a Disposable Skin Stapler set? And, I mean, you spent the last month mastering the...

ClearUP - Drug-Free Sinus Pain Relief for Allergies

$129 from Amazon »

Zap your allergy-related sinus pain like your mosquitos! The ClearUP is a drug-free device that uses an electrical current to stimulate sinus nerve fibers under your cheeks, nose bone, and brown bone, helping to ease...

Foots Love Broken Toe Wraps

$12.80 from Amazon »

Foots Love Broken Toe. I can't help but read that curious name for a broken toe wrap and crooked / hammer toe splint like, "Foots be lovin' them some broken toes. So come on, son, drop that dumbbell on piggies 2 and 3...

LastTissue Reusable Tissue Pack

$39 - $89 from LastObject »

LastObject says LastTissue, a reusable tissue pack, and the company's latest sustainable crowdfunding project, is "like if a handkerchief and a tissue pack had a baby." Which is to say, LastTissue is a set of handkerchiefs...

Face ID Compatible Respirator Masks

Discontinued

Face ID compatible respirator masks are surgical masks printed with the bottom half of your actual face to facilitate biometric recognition when you're contagious, or in the midst of a viral outbreak. That part is clear...

myONE Perfect Fit Condoms

$8 - $10 from myONE »

If the shoe fits...why shouldn't the condom? myONE Perfect Fit Condoms aren't custom-sized condoms, per se, but with 10 lengths, 9 widths, and 60 total sizes available, taking 15 seconds to line up your ruler like so...

After Sex Towel

$9 from Amazon »

This after sex towel considers itself "unique and clever" for taking a plain white terry cloth towel and embroidering the word "Sperm" across it. (Or, if you prefer a little more slang and vulgarity in your terminology...

Bob Ross Bandages

$8.99 from Amazon »

Of all the pieces of Bob Ross merch out there, Bob Ross Bandages are one of the few that actually make sense. They're right up there with the Bob Ross Chia Pet because, as the boo-boo covers state with pride: in injuries...

Uberlube Luxury Lubricant

$18 from Amazon »

Since the self-driving car and going public things haven't worked out so well for Uber, they've decided to diversify with a foray into the personal lubricant business. Uberlube, a luxury lubricant for discerning "ridesharers,"...

VindKan Penis Enlargement Underwear

$22.99 from Amazon »

Happy New Year from your penis, the little pants snake that thinks VindKan Penis Enlargement Underwear might help him show up to 2020's ssssex ssssessions a little less perky garter and a little more long, lashing anaconda...

Christmas Tree Kitty Carpet - Reusable Crotch Wig

$9.99 from Amazon »

Wife or girlfriend wishing for a kitty under the Christmas tree this year? Welp, get her a Christmas Tree Kitty Carpet and you'll basically be giving her exactly what she asked for. While saving yourself the allergic...

Micro TagBand Skin Tag Remover

$22.95 from Amazon »

The Micro TagBand skin tag remover is a tiny, low-tech tool for popping off bulbous mounds of excess flesh by way of slow strangulation...

MindInsole Acupressure Magnetic Insoles

$11.99 from Amazon »

A reflexology massage and fat-cell-weakening magnetic stimulation session while you walk - how's that for incentive to slide in a pair of MindInsole acupressure magnetic insoles and hoof it instead of driving to the store...

Ice Roller - Therapeutic Skincare & Pain Relief

$16.99 from Amazon »

Dull skin, inflammation, and even aches and pains get the freeze-out with the Ice Roller for face and body...

Gua Sha Scraping Massage Tool Sets

$125.99 - $149.99 from Amazon »

Hey, whatcha got in that fancy metal brief- Whoa! Uh, nevermind. Forget I asked. ... Oh, uh, Gua Sha massage tools? OK, sure. Massage tools. Whatever you say, dude. I'll just leave you then to, uh...find someone who needs...

Paincakes Stick-On Cold Packs

Sold Out from Amazon »

Paincakes are stick-on ice packs that make fighting pain in sore, swollen, or injured parts of your body less of a pain in your ass. Eliminating the need to dink around with tape or haul out a WRAPTIE strap to hold your...

Snow Globe Sweaters

$8.54 from Amazon »

Don't be fooled! These here Snow Globe Sweaters are not cozy and adorable winter hats for snow globes. They're cozy and adorable winter hats for nipples! Like the ones on the ends of boobies. I really don't know why they've...

Animal Eye Patches

Sold Out from Amazon »

Lazy eye, meet snake eye. No kid likes wearing an eye patch (most adults don't either, unless it means they can talk and act like a pirate) but See Worthy Eye Patches makes the burden a little more bearable with their...

Ninja Bandages

$8.50 from Amazon »

Trade kissing for Hi-yah!-ing to make it better with these most excellent Ninja Bandages. Which are most definitely not just for kids...