Obviously all women who carry a pug bag are certifiably crazy, but I think it should also be a rule of logic that all certifiably crazy women carry a pug bag. You know, as demarcation. So that we're fairly warned before we innocuously ask them out for a drink and then suddenly, 4 months later, wake up to a lecture about how we should actually fast on Thanksgiving at a tribute to all the turkeys whose lives were lost to our greed and indulgence. Ahem, Cornelius. Have fun starving on lentils and tempeh, and meditating at the Far East bookstore this year while I spend all day horizontal watching football on my friend Victor's couch, and eating so much gravy-soaked bird that I cluck every time I belch to make room for more.
Pug bags have the dog's face printed on both sides for double the horror, plus soft, movable ears for real live pugs to chew on. Inside are a single zipper pocket and 2 smartphone pockets.