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Pug Bag

By: on November 15, 2013
  • Pug Bag
  • Pug Bag
$38.90
from
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Obviously all women who carry a pug bag are certifiably crazy, but I think it should also be a rule of logic that all certifiably crazy women carry a pug bag. You know, as demarcation. So that we're fairly warned before we innocuously ask them out for a drink and then suddenly, 4 months later, wake up to a lecture about how we should actually fast on Thanksgiving at a tribute to all the turkeys whose lives were lost to our greed and indulgence. Ahem, Cornelius. Have fun starving on lentils and tempeh, and meditating at the Far East bookstore this year while I spend all day horizontal watching football on my friend Victor's couch, and eating so much gravy-soaked bird that I cluck every time I belch to make room for more.

Pug bags have the dog's face printed on both sides for double the horror, plus soft, movable ears for real live pugs to chew on. Inside are a single zipper pocket and 2 smartphone pockets.

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

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Handbag Dyetonator Bag & Purse Thief Marker

Malaysian company Ash Be Nimble launched the Handbag Dyetonator, an accessory that permanently marks thieves with dye and releases a smoke flare upon activation, because bag and purse theft is apparently a huge problem...

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No More Woof - Dog to Human Translator

$65 - $400 from No More Woof »

From the Nordic Society of Invention and Discovery--yes, that's a real society, not one made up by Wes Anderson--comes No More Woof, a device that lifts up the latest technology in micro computing and EEG, and plops it...

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Dog & Cat Temperament Leashes & Collars

$14.99 - $19.99 from Amazon »

Dexil's leashes and collars announce your dog or cat ahead of its licks and wags...or tucked tails...or snarls, hisses, claws, and teeth. The line of leads and restraints display pet temperament both by color and big...

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King Bed with Doggie Insert

Discontinued

Jason Barton made a king bed with enough room for the King of the Bed. Which means you'll be sleeping on a cut piece of memory foam stuck in the 23" insert tacked onto its side....

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AeroBull Speakers

$699 - $1,999 from Jarre »

Jarre loves them some funky speakers (remember the AeroTwist?) Their AeroBulls go canine with sound system design, turning French bulldogs into in-house HD and rechargeable travel speakers whose bark, I'd imagine, far...

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Your Pet's Fur Watches

Wait! Don't throw away the dog fur you just lint rollered off the couch, or the cat hair you dug out of the vacuum cleaner filter! Stuff that cuddly wad of goodness into a Ziploc and ship it off to Analog Watch Co. They...

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iFetch Automatic Ball Launcher

$114.99 from Amazon »

iFetch isn't the first automatic ball launcher for dogs, but it's about half the cost of the Go Dog Go, and I am more partial to iFetch's video of the dancing Boston Terrier than I am to Go Dog Go's of the spastic Puggle....

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BarkBath Portable Dog Bath System

$99 - $149 from BarkBath »

Looks like the BarkBath is about to make bathing your dog at home way easier on you. Hehheh, but judging by the I-damn-well-better-be-getting-paid-for-this look on the face of that golden retriever in the demo video...

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Wiener Dog Earplugs

$11.50 from Koncent »

I don't know who let the dogs out, and thanks to these Mimi Pet Nagai Dachshund earplugs I'll never hear anyone else wonder, Who, who, who, who?! again....

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Kurgo Mud Dog Travel Shower

$12.99 from Amazon »

But, but, my whole purpose in life is to roll in mud, and then on your couch! Kurgo's Mud Dog Travel Shower aims to put a wrench in your dog's plan to bring his nice & dirty self home from the park or hike as is, and...

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Piqapoo Self-Collecting Poop Bag

$29 - $35 from Piqapoo »

On the one hand, clipping a Piqapoo self-collecting poop bag to your dog's butt exceeds injury cone and Chia Pet costume levels of shaming him. But on the other hand, you've spent the last X years following him around...