61

Bloody Cleaver Purse

By: on August 12, 2013
$33.95
Check It Out

Ladies, I dare anyone to try to rip you off or cut up your credit cards or even look at you in a way you do not find pleasing when you're carrying one of these babies. From the butcher's block to the sewing machine, nothing complements a hot, wild-eyed chick with crushing grip strength better than a bloody cleaver purse. How fashionable and mentally unstable you'll look clasping the clutch handle and swinging its stained red blade to and fro. Whoa, watch my crotchal region there, ma'am. I know you say that thing's made of vinyl, but...I'm just not sure I believe you.

In inches, bloody cleaver purses measure 14.6" x 7.1" x 1.2". In fear, they are immeasurable.

Check it out

Handbag Dyetonator Bag & Purse Thief Marker

Malaysian company Ash Be Nimble launched the Handbag Dyetonator, an accessory that permanently marks thieves with dye and releases a smoke flare upon activation, because bag and purse theft is apparently a huge problem...

Check it out

Flayed Flesh Garters

Sold Out from Etsy »

Take peek-a-boo garters to the next level: peek-a-boo blood vessels and layers of muscle tissue, courtesy of open-wound prostheses and stocking accoutrements from Etsy's Meaghan O'Keefe. A pair of unpainted latex prostheses...

Buy Now

SKINZIT Electric Fish Skinner

Sold Out from Amazon »

Skin my fish? But, but--to quote my grandma when I said I didn't want to eat anything from bread crusts to chicken gizzards when I was a kid--that's the best part! The SKINZIT Electric Fish Skinner says it makes quick...

Check it out

Tactical Bleeding Zombie Target

$89.95 from Zombie Industries »

Target practice with human targets seems so cruel (although practical since most of the time it's other people that are getting shot). Why not practice drilling holes in things that are already dead and will probably...

Buy Now

Unzipped Flesh Kit

$6.12 from Amazon »

One way to make others jump out of their skin is to jump out of yours. This Unzipped Flesh look requires some legwork and talent to pull off, but look at the striking levels of gruesomeness and morbidity one can achieve...

Buy Now

Dai Sensei Japanese Kitchen Knife

Sold Out from Amazon »

Dai Sensei means "Grand Master" in Japanese, and that's presumably what this fusion of a Japanese blade and a French chef's knife will make the kitchen warrior who wields it. (Note: Knowing proper knife skills, such as...

Buy Now

BloodStop Hemostatic Gauze

$14.99 from Amazon »

"I dare you." "Hey dude, watch this." "Wanna try to make some money on YouTube?" These are just a few of the calling cards leading to one's introduction to BloodStop, a hemostatic gauze that adheres to spewing wounds...

Check it out

Boo-Boos Gory Bandages

I'll see your kiss it and make it better and raise you a gasp, gag, and vomit up my corn dog and curly fries. Designer, inventor, and gore master Sherwood Forlee makes Boo-Boos, adhesive bandages that will help make your...

Check it out

Dripping Blood Cutting Board

$26.11 from mzube »

Now kitchen countertops can look like a bloody mess whether you've cut yourself or used them to butcher a half side of beef or not. Great for Halloween, great for an otherwise ho-hum Monday night, great for getting a...

Check it out

Blood Bath Wallpaper

$53 from Pixers »

Huh. Now this is interesting. And by "interesting" I mean, "I really hope I never show up to someone's house and see an entire room wallpapered in blood splatters." That's, like, some psycho housewife shit. Some Kathy...

Check it out

Double Agent Shoes

$165 - $225 from Double Agent Shoes »

Get your lady a pair of these Double Agent Shoes for Valentine's Day and you'll never get stuck holding her purse again. Ahhh, a nice gift for her with a nice kickback for you. That said, be wary if she isn't the most...

Check it out

Recycled Skateboard Butcher Knives

Sold Out from Etsy »

Trick out your kitchen with a 2nd Shot Canada skateboard butcher knife. Husband and wife team Lindsay and John turn ollies, tailslides, and top guns into the handles of their damascus chopping blades. Each is a OOAK knife...