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The Emojibator

By: on October 26, 2016
  • The Emojibator
  • The Emojibator
  • The Emojibator
  • The Emojibator
  • The Emojibator
  • The Emojibator
$29
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Sure it's a staple in Baba Ghanoush, and a common meat substitute for vegetarians, but nothing has done more for the eggplant than the digital world's decision to turn it into an emoji. Except, perhaps, an enterprising young lady from Philly's decision to turn it into an Emojibator. Yep. The formerly unremarkable aubergine has gone from funky lookin' purple fruit to funny purple symbol for the male genitalia to festive toy and bearer of great big purple aubergasms. Long (and strong) live the eggplant!

Whether you live on social media, live for pop culture, or live in a situation that requires your sex toys to pass for cat toys on occasion, the Emojibator will fill your life with some good vibrations. Lots of them. At 10 different power and sequence settings, and even in water if you like to vibe in the shower, bathtub, or vegetable garden on a rainy day. At 4.8" long and 1.2" in diameter, the buzzing silicone eggplant is also small enough for travel, and to use in decorating the bride's hotel room during bachelorette weekends.

Ready to Emojibate? Click here to order an Emojibator of your own.

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KFC Internet Escape Pod

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Note: The Japanese electric piston masturbator's NSFW designation serves not so much as a reminder that this device is not suitable to view at work as it does a reminder that it is not suitable to use at work. I found...

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$29.95 from Fleshlight »

Though it's not electric or piston-powered...or Japanese...like this friendly sex toy, the LaunchPAD does employ advanced technology in a valiant effort to enhance Man's alone time. The makers of male masturbatory aid...

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$30.19 from Amazon »

These Deadpool Christmas tree ornaments will look right at home dangling alongside the Bob Ross Funko Pop figure classing up my mantle. 'Tis the season for happy little trees and Deadpool 2 trailers....

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Selfie Vibrator with HD Camera (NSFW)

$155 from Amazon »

It doesn't have to be a holiday or special occasion to surprise your lady with a thoughtful gift. The Svakom Gaga Sex Selfie Stick even has a foolproof, built-in mechanism for gauging how much she likes it. Come on, sugar...

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Kobayashi Mug

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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that...he's gone....

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Life-Size Exorcist Regan Doll

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The only thing worse than a Monday is clicking on a link that brings you to a life-size replica doll of possessed Regan from The Exorcist. It just happened to me, and since misery loves company, here you go, dudes. I'm...

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Images You Should Not Masturbate To

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If you're wondering if its title is true, feed your curiosities with the photo of the dog that looks like George Costanza's mom in this book of Images You Should Not Masturbate To. And I thought the salt shaker was bad....

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Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle

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This is an Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle. If you've seen stranger things - say, Taxidermy Animal Drones or Edible Anus Chocolates - it probably won't bother you. And if you've seen Stranger Things, you'll probably love it....

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Paco's Taco Stroker

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At first I was like, Who the h-e-double-boner named this kitchen tool "Paco's Taco Stroker?" I'm going to make so many masturbation jokes when I write about it. And then I looked closer and was like, Holy hard-on! They...